Common-or-Garden Gobshite

‘What are your favourite metals?’ people sometimes ask me.’ What are your most favourite of ALL metals’.  ‘Well,’ I generally reply, ‘my favourites are molybdenum, zirconium, hafnium and cobalt’. They are my special favourites but I do have others. I was reading about the six habits of spiritually successful people. ‘This is important stuff to know’, I tell myself earnestly. ‘I might learn something useful here.’ There’s a lot to learn in life but we’re not always able to learn it and that’s the problem. That’s the problem right there. How to know if you’re a very rare type of empath, for example? I don’t know – the type that’s also got PK abilities, or latent PK abilities, or something like that. How to know, how to know. Or maybe you’re not an empath at all, maybe you just like to imagine that you are, because the actual truth is far too difficult to endure. The truth is always hard to endure, as I’m sure you know. We’ve all had that experience, after all – the experience of not being able to endure the truth. Not even for a short while. Perhaps you’re not a rare type of super-empath at all but just a common or garden gobshite, the type of gobshite you can meet anywhere in the world, as easily as anything. Gobshites aren’t particularly hard to meet, after all. They’re not like unicorns. Statistically, you’re much more likely to be a gobshite than otherwise. That’s a hard truth to stomach, you see; you might think it isn’t but I’m here to tell you otherwise. It’s awfully hard. Seven signs that you might be a complete knobhead – that would be a good one, don’t you think? That would be an amusing article to write. Six signs (that you probably never picked up on before) that show beyond any doubt that you’re a total tosser! Yes, indeed. I started my own YouTube channel to tell people about my successful and innovative lifestyle and how I pulled it off against all the odds. What my strategies were, for example. How I developed my own unique methods. I can share that with the world because that’s something everyone would like to know about. Six signs that you might be a sickening twat, that sort of thing. ‘Oh my God’, you say, ‘I never realized…’ Life’s full of surprises, isn’t it? It’s just full of them. Packed to the brim, in fact. It’s not that we’re particularly fond of surprises however – no one is. Not really. The problem – simply put – is that we never know how they are going to turn out. We never know whether it’s going to be a good surprise or a bad one. Surprise, surprise – you’re a gobshite! How about that? How do you like them apples, huh? What’re you going to do about that? Not that you can do anything of course. Not there is anything to do because there isn’t. There’s no way out of it. Anything a fool does carries the indelible stamp of the fool, after all. Anything a fool does is simply an extension of their foolishness, and that’s just the way of it. It’s tough being a fool, you see. Any decision you make is guaranteed to only make matters worse and yet you’re under serious pressure to act. You’re under serious pressure to come up with an answer. So, this is very frustrating. Very frustrating indeed. The indelible stamp of the fool! I like the sound of that, I must say. It’s got a definite ring to it. It trips off the tongue. I’m in very bad form today, I must say. I’m as cranky as hell – stomping around, muttering under my breath, shouting angrily at anyone who comes near me. Not that anyone ever does come near me, come to think of it. I am here all alone – just me and my restless irritable mind, which feels like a pot of something unpleasant on the stove, never actually boiling over but always on the point of doing so, or so it seems. That’s how it feels anyway. Don’t ask me what’s in the pot, however – don’t ask me that because I don’t know. Something bad, that’s all I can tell you. Something rotten…




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