Worshipping Random Thoughts Is Your Religion

Thinking the bad thoughts, thinking the bad thoughts. Thinking bad thoughts about the bad thoughts. Getting in bad form about it. Thinking bad thoughts about myself for having all these bad thoughts. For keeping on having them even when you know you shouldn’t. Evil begets evil, you see – that’s something I’ve learned. Evil always begets evil – it opens up the floodgates. It unleashes the torrent and then you get swept away.


Looking on the bright side, don’t you know! Sunny-side up, if you please! Having positive thoughts. Speaking the great and powerful words of splendid affirmation. Breathing in the wonderful, lovely, sweet-tasting positivity and breathing out that rotten old lousy badness. Let someone else have it.


Suppose we get lost in the Infinite Expanse of Endless Space? Could that happen? Could that really be a thing, and just what would happen to us if it was a thing? How bad would it be? Would it be very bad? Should we be frightened? These are the questions we have to ask ourselves, you see. We can’t escape from these questions. No matter how fast we run they will hunt us down. The Big, Big Questions. The Ultimate Questions. What will happen to us if we get lost in infinite space? Are aliens real? Does Satan control us?


Punishing the bad people. Making them pay. Making sure that they suffer like they so richly deserve to. Punishing them vigorously – delighting in their terrible pain! Judging the evil doers, judging them extremely harshly because that’s what they deserve. Exulting in their misery. Dancing on the graves of your enemies! Doing your specially spiteful little victory dance…


What’s it all about, huh? Do you ever ask yourself that? Naturally you do, of course you do. Why wouldn’t you, after all? That’s what makes us Humin Beanz, after all – ‘asking ourselves what it’s all about’. Staring blankly at the wall, asking yourself the Big Question. Wondering what it all means. Thinking stupid random thoughts. Some folk will tell you that it’s all about God, of course. They’ll say that God made everything and so we have to pray to Him. They’ll explain it to us in nice simple one-syllable words that you can be sure to understand. That way you can be sure you do the right thing by Him and don’t get punished.


‘The least said, the soonest mended’ – isn’t that the way of it?  And the thing is that I’ve already said far too much! I’d take it back if I could. Me and my big mouth, huh! I was always like that though. ‘Talk first think later’ – that’s my motto. Yap away like a goddamn blathering fool and then wish to hell you hadn’t. Stony faces looking at you, wishing bad things for you. Wishing you harm…


The Great Mystery of Life, huh? What does it all mean? What’s the point in it, anyway? And – above all – asking ourselves just what good thinking about the Great Mystery of Life will do us. Wondering whether we should wonder about it or not. Thinking about the Infinite Vastness of Space. You could easily get lost in it, you know. You could so very easily get lost in it and then what would you do? Ask yourselves that, my friends, ask yourselves that…





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