As I gazed upon the unspeakably malefic activities of the human race my heart rejoiced within me – ‘all is going to plan’, I told myself, with no small amount of satisfaction. Great joy filled me – at last I could begin my work in this world, at last the way was clear. Boy did I ever rejoice! I was soaring high, I was attaining to the giddy heights of exaltation and no mistake. I was right up there in the giddy stratosphere…
The jolly old malefic activities of the human race, huh? Would you just look at them go! They’re going at it hammer and tongs – they know they’re going to be rewarded by our Lord Satan in the next life, you see. They are secure in their faith that way. They can’t wait to be rewarded by Satan in the next life. In the afterlife, in the second life, in the half-life. The life that is due us in recompense for our labours. Doing all the evil stuff, falling over ourselves in our hurry. Tripping over our own feet in the mad rush to do Satan’s bidding. Keen to get our reward in the next life.
So set to it my fine little maggots – set to it for all you’re worth. Set to it with a vengeance. Set to it and do your master’s will. Jump to it before he chastises you for your inexcusable sluggishness. Enact the baleful will of the Great Overlord, the Great Malign One. Scurry forth eagerly and do his awful bidding. Give it your best shot. Put on your smartest outfit, don your very best suit. Shine up your shoes. Don’t stint yourselves – style is everything, after all. You can be forgiven anything just as long as you’re dressed for the occasion.
You will be richly rewarded, very richly rewarded, so don’t be worried on that score! Don’t be worried that you won’t be rewarded richly enough because you will. You’ll be thanking yourself for making the right choice. You’ll be thanking yourself so much. You will be shaking yourself by the hand repeatedly – it’ll be good vibes all around. Good, good vibes, joyful and happy vibes. You will never regret opting to serve the Great Malignant One and that’s a fact! It will stand the test of time as the shrewdest decision you have ever made and you’ll thank yourself a thousand times every day!
So set to it, my fine little maggots! Jump to it. Serve your horribly perverse Lord and Master and you can be sure he won’t forget you. He will recompense you for your troubles one thousandfold. The day of your glory is approaching and then you can take your rightful place amongst the honoured ones. Amongst the smart ones, the ones who played their cards right. The Lord of All Corrupted Things will smile upon you on that day. He will smile so very fondly upon you. He will be your very good friend. The Great Evil Master will be so pleased with you. You will feel the warmth of his gratitude – deep down in your bones you will feel it. ‘Please reward me’, you will babble, ‘please reward me for doing my duty and serving your will. Please tell me that I did good…’ And the Great Evil One will smile sweetly upon you and bestow upon you his toxic love…
