Do you know that feeling when you just have to validate your ego and it doesn’t really matter how you go about doing that? It doesn’t really matter at all. It never matters – you just have to go ahead and do it, don’t you? Whatever it takes, my friend, whatever it takes. You’re in too much agony to be squeamish, too much agony to count the cost. You’re in far too much agony…
And it can take a lot, can’t it? Sometimes it can take an awful lot and I don’t think anyone’s going argue with that. Obviously they’re not going argue with that. No one’s going to argue with the fact that no one’s going to argue with that. By Jingo no. We can all sympathise with that – when you have got to validate your poor sorry-for-itself depleted ego then what else can you do? Any type of insanity becomes the norm at a time like this and that’s just the way it is. That’s just the way it works. It becomes the norm every time.
Sometimes you have to go to some pretty extreme lengths in a situation like this – that’s my experience, at any rate. That’s always been my experience. There’s no such thing as ‘Oh no good buddy. I think you’ve gone too far this time…’ There’s no such thing as that at all. Indeed there isn’t. I’ve learned that the hard way, as you might imagine. I’ve learned everything the hard way – that’s just the kind of guy I am, I guess – the kind of guy who has to learn everything the hard way. I wish I was another kind of guy but I’m not.
Pity that kind of guy, my friends – pity the kind of guy who has to learn everything the hard way, and not just the once but over and over again. Because that’s no fun at all, as I can most authoritatively assure you. I can assure you of that with my hand on my heart. I can assure you of that in all solemnity. I might be a fool it’s true but I’m a solemn fool. None solemner, in fact. A more solemn fool you never saw. It not easy when you do everything the hard way, I can promise you that. I can promise you that most sincerely. It’s anything but easy. You bet it isn’t.
Sometimes I can lose sympathy with myself however, I must confess. Sometimes I lose every last bit of sympathy with myself for being the type of guy who has to learn everything the hard way over and over again. Indeed I do, indeed I do. Very often I lose sympathy with myself in a big way. ‘That’s it,’ I tell myself angrily, ‘I’m done with you. I’m not wasting any more of my precious time trying to help you. There’s no point because you’re just too obstinate. Too obstinate in your hideous, unspeakable stupidity…’
On other occasions I do find it within myself to be a bit more compassionate, however. ‘It’s okay good buddy,’ I say to myself at these times, ‘it’s okay good buddy, don’t feel bad – you can’t help it…’
