I’m lost in the Noodle House, the Noodle House of my own stupid, pointless thoughts! ‘Welcome to the Noodle House’, I often say to myself, ‘welcome to the bloody old Noodle House…’

I often come out with stuff like that. It’s a kind of ironic self-depreciating humour, you could say. I can see that my life is a pile of crap, but all the same I strive to keep my sense of humour about things. I try not to let it get me down.

Phantom thoughts like thin wisps of cold fog drift eerily through my interior world. They unsettle me in a way that I can’t quite put a finger on; even though I can’t understand what these chilly thoughts are about they nevertheless serve to dampen my mood, which until a few moments ago had been quite ebullient.

I’m walking down King Street in Maidstone in the early hours of the morning, trying to reconnect with my destiny. It is of course important for us all to try to reconnect with our destiny, if possible. If we can. Or at least, it is important if we have somehow become disconnected from it, as I have. If this happens to be the case then it is surely very important to reconnect with it, nothing could be more important, in fact! These are my thoughts on the matter, at any rate. For what they’re worth.

On the other hand, I find myself wondering, is it ever possible to be truly disconnected from one’s destiny? And if it does happen to be possible then couldn’t it be said that it is our destiny to be disconnected from our destiny, in which case we haven’t been disconnected from it at all. Destiny is a very powerful idea you see, it’s a very powerful concept and – who knows – maybe it’s more than just a concept? Welcome to the Noodle House, right? Welcome to the bloody old Noodle House. How do you like yours, my friend? How do you like your noodles? A guy comes up out of nowhere and asks me if I have a spare cigarette. This is the only human contact that I’ve had so far.  He’s off in a flash the moment I say I haven’t of course, which is just as well. I’m not in the humour for talking to anyone, I just want to be left alone in the privacy of my own pointless non-nonsensical thoughts. Is that too much to ask?

‘No it isn’t’, comes back the answer, ‘ask and it shall be given to you…’ The morning is cold and grey. There are very few people about at this hour and those that are seem to be as preoccupied as I am; they’re going about their business with a visible sense of purpose. They wouldn’t be up and about so early if they didn’t, of course. They’re not just strolling about for the fun of it.

I’ve got my own business to attend to I suppose. I’m trying to reconnect with all the lost or mislaid parts of myself, which of which there are many. At least, I assume that there are many – I don’t know really. I haven’t a clue. I could be wrong in this assumption of mine, of course. I could be very wrong. I’m lost in the Noodle House when it comes down to it. I’m lost in the Noodle House of my own stupid thoughts…