We are in the world but we also are the world. Did you ever hear that? Only I’m not. I’m kind of ‘trapped on the outside’, which doesn’t feel too good. I’m here to tell you that this particular scenario doesn’t feel too good at all. Not too good at all. That’s me there – the guy with his face squashed up against the invisible glass wall! The guy with his face squashed up against the invisible glass wall that separates those people who are part of life from all those unfortunate persons who are on the outside looking in. Can you see me? You probably can’t because those of us who are on the outside of life are pretty much invisible. We are ‘the unnoticed’, by and large. There are quite a few of us – all in all – but you wouldn’t know it. When you’re actually part of life then you don’t tend to have much time for those who aren’t. You have too much to be getting on with. You’re having too much fun. That’s the way of things really isn’t it? Perhaps you aren’t aware that this is the way of things but I am. You bet I’m aware that this is the way of things. Wouldn’t you be if it was you? But it’s not you is it? It’s not you so we won’t worry about that.

Humans come in all shapes and sizes don’t they? I don’t mean physically – that would be a very banal statement to make. I’m talking about the inside  of people – the part that you don’t ever get to see. The secret part, the hidden part – the inner entity so to speak which lurks wholesomely within the deceptive facade of the body. The deceptive façade, the deceptive façade – that’s all we ever care about isn’t it? We are the worshippers of the deceptive façade, that’s for sure! There’s great mileage in worshipping the deceptive façade and no one can deny that. Just look at how much mileage we get out of it – it’s unlimited mileage in my view. Worshipping the façade is all we ever do. We’re far too busy looking at the outside to suspect what’s going on on the inside and that’s why we are all so obsessed with spending lots of money on fancy clothes you see. That’s why it’s a billion-dollar industry – because it’s all a great big cover-up. It’s the biggest cover-up ever…

That’s one thing they don’t teach us about school: they teach us about reading, writing and arithmetic but what they don’t teach us about is the inherent evilness of the thought-created world. You’d imagine that they would teach us about that of course but they don’t. The thought-created world isn’t overtly evil after all so how are we supposed to know otherwise? The teaching curriculum is a failure because of this you see. What’s the point in teaching us all that stuff if they don’t give us the information about the Mind Zone being intrinsically evil? That’s a bit useless in my view. ‘Welcome to the Mind Zone,’ they should say. Welcome to the Mind Zone, welcome to the Mind Zone. We slope you’ll be very crappy here; we mope you’ll be very nappy here. We grope that you will be very sappy here. And all the time you can hear the evil mechanical laughter going on in the background. There’s a big joke going on but you’re not allowed to know what it is. There’s a big joke going on and actually it’s you. They’ve made a right twat out of you and yet you keep on thinking that you’re the bee’s knees…

It’s not all doom and gloom though is it? There is also corrosive boredom and barely repressed self-loathing. Never forget the boredom and self-loathing. There is also total alienation – never forget the total alienation. Never forget, never forget. You’re on the outside looking in. You’re about to take a bite of the pie but you don’t know where to begin. It’s not all doom and gloom however and that’s an important fact to remember. Life in the Mind Zone has a lot to offer a young person who doesn’t mind hard work and who isn’t afraid to be profoundly alienated from everything that matters and that’s something we should be teaching in schools. Lots to offer, lots to offer. You too could have a happy time – if that’s the kind of thing that makes you happy, which in all fairness it could be. Who knows, after all?

I’m no fun when I’m in this mood, I know. I’m hardly a barrel of laughs, as the man said, but can you blame me? I’m looking at life from the wrong end of the telescope you see and someone played a trick on me by smothering the wrong end of the telescope with boot polish so that now I’m going around making a great big jackass of myself. People are helplessly pissing themselves wherever I go! No one’s got a good word to say. I got the wrong idea about things and now I’m the laughing stock. I made a fool of myself and now they’ll never let me forget it. They’ll forget it right but I never will. No one can ever say that I don’t know how to hold a grudge…