The Five Stages of Spiritual Awakening

Days of sorrow, days of rage, days of rage like incandescent bolts of lightning that will seer into your retina like hot knives into butter. Days of rage – rage so bright that it’s like staring into the midday sun. Days of sorrow, days of joy, but mainly days of rage. Yes absolutely, mainly rage. Amaze your friends and surprise strangers with your new talent, isn’t that what the adverts say? Amaze your friends, amaze your friends. Wow – I never knew you could do that! Do it again buddy, do it again. Rage so bright, rage so bright. Bright like the sun. Bright like a solar flare. Days of anger, days of joy. You wake up in the morning wondering what today has in store for you and you discover it’s exactly the same thing that it had in store for you yesterday and the day before that! Your face lights up with rage, your face lights up like a magnesium flare. Incandescent with rage you decide to write a letter of complaint to the Radio Times. That’s what people used to do, you know. Disgusted, of Tonbridge Wells. Irritated, of Ealing Broadway. Livid, of Lower Halstow. Incandescent with rage, you run through the streets like a meteor. Where will your lightning strike, where will your lightning strike? It never strikes twice in the same place you know. The night sky is awash with ionising radiations. It’s as bright as day when you close your eyes. You crave acceptance from society as much as the next man does, of course. The craving is engraved into your very soul. You went online and learnt a new skill; you went online and you discovered the five stages of spiritual awakening. You want to find out what stage you’re at. These days everyone is at some stage of spiritual awakening or other aren’t they? It’s the done thing – anybody who is anybody is in one of the five stages of spiritual awakening. It would be socially embarrassing to admit otherwise. It would put you in a bad light. Who cares about non-spiritual people these days? You won’t strike the right note that way. Spiritual awakening is very important though and I would be the first to concur on that point. I for one won’t argue about that. Obviously it’s very important. Spiritual people are very great and we all know that. It’s not like you’re some dumb ugly deluded knob-end of a person then. None of us want to be like that. None of us want to be a knobhead and I can appreciate that. I don’t want it and neither do you and that’s why we are all spiritual people. It gets very frightening being a human being in the world, doesn’t it? You wake up in the morning and you want to do the same old dumb shit that you always did but now you realise that this isn’t very spiritual so you’ve got to do something else! You’ve got to refine your act, you’ve got to ‘up your game’ and that’s all very exhausting. Can you keep it up? Do you even know what you are supposed to be doing? You are craving social acceptance of course but no one seems to care what you have to say. You’re struggling to stay relevant. You are struggling to stay relevant but you don’t even know what that means. You don’t know what anything means. You don’t know what reality means but you are too frightened to admit it. You’re frankly terrified. All you have to comfort yourself with is the appalling meaninglessness of your own stupid games and that just doesn’t cut the mustard any more…








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