My life was over in a flash. I know that this is a cliché and that – as such – it doesn’t carry any weight or pack any punch. But on the other hand – that’s just the way it is. That’s just the way it is and there’s no other way to say it. I had everything handed to me on a plate. Existence, I mean. I had existence handed to me on a plate and what did I do with it? That’s the old, old question I guess – “What did I do with it?” Did I make the correct use of the opportunity or did I screw it up?

I say that I had everything handed to me on a plate but did I? Did I really? We think we are free to make of life what we will but are we? Are we really? We think that we have got a fair crack at the whip but do we? Do we really? Rhetorical questions my friend, rhetorical questions. Questions that we don’t need to answer. It is sufficient merely to ask them.

Time is a funny thing isn’t it? I know that this is a cliché too but what the hell. We are all thinking it anyway so I might as well come out and say it! You think you’ve got a lot of it, but no buddy – you haven’t. You don’t have as much as you think; you never have as much as you think. And anyway, no matter HOW much you much time you’ve got, it’s still all over in a flash. It’s always all over in a flash, no matter what. Suppose you lived for a hundred years, two hundred years, three hundred years, whatever – it’s always all over in a flash. That’s in the nature of time you see – it’s in the nature of time to be all over in a flash. What else would you expect? Did you expect time to hang around?

Suppose there was a particle that travelled so fast that the moment it started off on its journey is also the moment that it finished. It’s the very same moment – no time at all has elapsed. The particle is already at its destination the very moment it sets off. So what this means of course is that there is no journey. There isn’t any ‘journey’ involved, obviously. There isn’t any such thing as ‘a journey’ and there isn’t any such thing as ‘space’, either – space has ceased to exist. My point is that we are all that particle – we are all that particle which travels so fast that it reaches its destination at the very same time it set off. So there’s actually no such thing as time. This being the case, it’s no wonder that it seems to flash by so quickly, is it?

These are my thoughts, anyway – for what they’re worth. These are the thoughts that I’m sitting here having. It’s been a long day and I’m tired – too tired to get off my chair. I was watching a YouTube video about robot soldiers. Humans are now obsolete, they are saying. I need to get up and do a few things but I can’t. I’m too worn out to drag myself off the chair. As I say, it’s been a long day. It’s been a long day but it’s gone by in a flash. It seems like no time at all since I left the house this morning and joined the morning rush-hour traffic. It feels like no time at all – it actually feels as if some kind of trick has been played on me. You see my point, I trust. You see what I’m trying to get at here, of course. It’s kind of frightening really, wouldn’t you say?

So anyway, so anyway. Why am I so tired if time doesn’t exist, I ask myself? What am I tired doing? Am I really tired or am I just imagining it? I had it all handed to me on a plate but I let the opportunity slip by. It slipped by before I knew what had happened. Could I have done it any differently, I wonder? Could I have got it right if I had thought about it a bit more? Could I at least have avoided some of the more obvious pitfalls? I feel tired asking all these questions, come to think of it. Tired and fed up. At the back of my mind I know that I’ll have to wake up tomorrow morning and do the whole thing all over again, you see. It’ll keep on happening because that’s the way of it. It’ll keep on happening until one day it won’t…