Certain things are null, I told myself. Certain actions are null actions. When you try to impress a fool by conforming to what he or she happens to think is correct, then that’s null. When you take a fool and his or her statements seriously then that’s also null. Null, so very null. Null, so very null. Null, null, null. I nodded my head as I repeated the word, impressed with my own wisdom. Then I shocked myself – ‘Praise be to the Nullity,’ I suddenly cried out, without meaning to. The words just burst out of me – I couldn’t help myself from wanting to worship the Nullity! ‘Praise be to the Nullity,’ I cried out again, and the words sounded croaky and strange. The voice that spoke the words was not my own – it belonged to some unspeakably corrupted version of myself. ‘Praise be to the Nullity,’ the vile, corrupted version of me cried out huskily, taking control momentarily of my vocal chords. ‘Praise be, praise be, praise be, praise be!’ After this outburst I felt unclean, I felt tainted…
The Nullity was controlling me, I realised. The Nullity in all its horror had reached out and controlled me – it had controlled me utterly. When you control somebody you defile yourself just as you defile them, I said. This was my mantra. When you can control somebody you defile yourself just as you defile them. This was my mantra and I repeated it defiantly. The nullity was defilement itself however, I realised after a while. The nullity was defilement itself and so it didn’t care if it was defiled! It didn’t care at all – obviously it didn’t care. It relished being defiled. Defilement constitutes its greatest joy, defilement is sublime poetry to the Nullity. The Nullity is defilement itself and it had just reached out and controlled me! I was contaminated to the core…
I had been possessed by the urge to worship Satan, I told myself, and this is the most unclean urge there ever was or ever could be. ‘Worship Satan, worship Satan, worship Satan’, the unclean urge told me. It had gotten inside me and it was running riot. It was filling me with sick excitement. It was exulting in its total power, its total control over me. Its exaltation was savagely violent and I could feel it destroying me from within. There is nothing more savagely violent than the exaltation of Satan! And yet Satan is such a tricky customer, is he not? When the righteous preacher man loudly denounces Satan and all his works then this is inevitably because the Sinister Inversion has taken place and the hopelessly deluded preacher man has automatically become possessed by the very one he is denouncing! He has unwittingly become the very evil that he fights against.
Satan is always the Denouncer of Satan and so who will think to look for him there? Poor foolish gullible creatures that we are, we always look in the opposite direction! We are always looking towards where the accusing finger is pointing and so we never see Satan in our midst. We NEVER see Satan in our midst – we are notorious for this defect! We are as gullible as the day is long, we are as foolish as foolish could be. We are foolishness personified and so how will we ever be able to see through Satan’s Trick? How will we ever be able to see that Satan is in the preacher man as he rages and postures at the pulpit?
How will we ever see? How will we ever see? Although to be fair it’s actually all our own fault since there’s no one else to blame for our foolishness apart from ourselves! We have all got brains after all – it’s just that we never bother to use them! It’s unfashionable to use one’s brain isn’t it? It’s deeply unfashionable. We prefer to listen to the preacher man shouting his dumb face off. Or to the President, or to the Prime Minister, or to who whoever the hell it is. It’s all the same thing, after all. It’s all the Nullity when it comes down to it. It’s the sum of all our null actions and – I can tell you – there’s a lot of them! Satan is the nullity too, at the end of the day – there’s actually nothing there. Satan only exists when we loudly denounce him! We create the devil and all his works by fighting against him and this is of course exactly what the old preacher man is always telling us to do!
