I notice that, in the world of hairdressing, they’re now trying to promote a product called ‘Nioxin’. Can you believe that? This – to me – epitomises all that is obtuse about marketing and the business world in general. How dumb can you get? How dumb can those assholes get? One of the nastiest industrial toxins ever produced happens to go by the name of ‘dioxin’ – as we all know – and these clowns choose to call their product ‘Nioxin! Well, I say that the fact that they are now promoting this product ‘Nioxin’ in hairdressing salons up and down the land ‘epitomises all that is obtuse about marketing’ but I don’t know if it does really. It just came into my head to say it does. At the time I thought it would be a good thing to say. It seemed snappy, incisive and sharp, but I don’t – in all honesty – think that it’s particularly true. It doesn’t in all honesty epitomise anything to me so I don’t think I should pursue that line of invective any further, as it happens. My point is, I suppose, that there are so many possible thoughts, so many possible random mechanical impulses that one could run with, if one wanted. We’re inundated with them. Well, I don’t know whether that really is my point but we’ll say that it is! We’ll say that it is by way of a ‘convenient literary device’. A kind of a gimmick. We’ll pretend that this is my point, just for the sake of the argument. Not that there actually is ‘an argument’ (as such) of course, but if there was, if perchance it did so happen that there was an argument under way, then we could indeed talk in terms of ‘a literary device’. So – just for the sake of the argument  – we’ll say that there is an argument. If you see what I mean. If you see where I’m going with that. We’ll say that there is. We will pretend that there actually is an argument because things will get pretty damn confusing if there isn’t! Certain conventions are needed after all, in order to bring some kind of basic shape to the proceedings. Certain conventions are needed, certain conventions are needed. How far can one get, after all, merely by relying upon whatever random mechanical impulse might come next into one’s mind? What kind of a strategy would that be? Might it prove successful? Might it prove fruitful? The truth is that it isn’t any kind of strategy at all really, is it? It’s more like the absence of a strategy’! It’s the absence of a strategy masquerading as strategy and as such it’s very unlikely to be fruitful in any way whatsoever. Still, it’s better than nothing, I suppose. In some ways it’s better than nothing, in other ways it isn’t. In some way it’s good because at least it gives you something to go on. ‘Is that your strategy then,’ you ask me – ‘to wait for the next random mechanical impulse to come along and then jump on board with it?’ People have to have their laugh though, don’t they? I’m philosophical enough at this stage. We have to let people have their laugh. Laugh it up you guys, I always tell them. Laugh it up why don’t you. Laugh it up you fucking dickheads. Go right ahead. You see, I know something they don’t! I know that they’re doing exactly the same thing as me but they’re just not admitting it…






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