We egos love going on about enlightenment. Boy, do we love going on about enlightenment! We’d drive you completely daft with all our talk about it – we love thinking about how we could get enlightened and be spiritual and all that stuff. That kind of talk excites us no end. So what’s all this about, you might ask? What’s the story? After all, we all know perfectly well that egos can’t get enlightened! Pigs would sooner fly, as the saying has it. You’d look up and the sky would be full of air-pigs, flapping their little pink wings! The air would be thick with them – you wouldn’t even be able to see the tiniest little scrap of blue sky, not with all those flying pigs about, you wouldn’t! The downdraught from all those flapping little pink wings would knock you down, so it would. Flap, flap, flap, go those wings. The noise is deafening. And the downdraught isn’t the only thing you’d have to worry about, I can tell you that! By jingo you’d have more than just the downdraught to be watching out for and that’s a fact. Sooner than all of that is the unlikely event of an ego becoming enlightened! Infinitely more likely and that’s no word of a lie. You’ll get nothing but the truth here – I can promise you that. You may not be wild about it but I can’t do anything about that. You’ll get nothing but the truth here – the finest and best quality too. None of your rubbish. The real high grade stuff. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, my friend! Toke away on it. Toke away for all you’re worth. You’ll get some bang out of that, I can tell you! You won’t know what hit you – you won’t know whether you’re upside-down or the right way up. You won’t know what planet you’re on. That stuff will put you whistling, I’m telling you. It’ll put you spinning. Spin my good friends, spin. Spin for all you’re worth! Set yourself free and spin away to your heart’s content. Egos love waffling on about enlightenment and that’s a fact! Wouldn’t you just love to be enlightened? We love that the best. We love that the best of all – better than all the other ego-type stuff you always hear about. Fame, wealth, power, prestige, status – all that stuff is a load of old bollocks compared to enlightenment. It’s a load of old shyte. Fuck that! That stuff’s just for losers, as we all know. There’s no kudos in that old bollocks – you’d do better to fall flat on your face and get a big mound of fresh steaming dog shyte in your eye! More kudos in that any day! Enlightenment is where the smart money is going, as well you know. As well you know. There’s nothing we old egos like so much as waffling on about getting enlightened! We rub our hands together at the thought of it. That shit’s like crack cocaine for us – it drives us pure deranged! We’re mad for it… So what’s the story there, you ask? What’s all that about?