We human beings are full of such incalculable malice. I know this well. I know this very well. I know this very well indeed for it is of myself I speak, just as much as I speak of anyone else. I know this first-hand so it is no good trying to tell me otherwise. You can’t fool a fooler as they say, and I’ve been fooling myself for a long, long time!
You see, the thing is that the malice doesn’t have to be outwardly directed – this is what we always forget. It can be for sure and we all know instances of that. More often than not however it’s not something you can spot, or read about in the newspapers. More often than not the malice is inwardly directed, it’s directed at ourselves so no one spots the crime! The malice of which I speak comes from a secret source. It comes from being blocked on all sides – it’s as simple as this. It comes from being shut down – why else are we always trying to shut everyone else down? Why else does society always shut as down? It’s a chain-reaction. When we’ve been shut down ourselves then we’re always going to be trying to shut everyone else down too – we’re going to ‘pass it on’. It’s all we’ve got after all, and we have to pass on something! That’s the law after all – we either have to pass on what we’ve got, or what we haven’t got…
People possess such incalculable malice. As I have said, I know this to be true so don’t try to tell me otherwise. Am I not a person, after all? I know it well enough but I hesitate to speak of it. It’s a negative view, a grievously pessimistic and perverse view. Isn’t that what people will say? These same people that I have so unjustly accused of being full of incalculable malice. But I see it all the time. I see it in myself. Having seen it once, I cannot unsee it. It makes me laugh to think that other people do not see it, that they deny it in the way that they do. Why would we make ourselves live such crass and stupid lives if we weren’t full of such dreadful malice? Answer me that, my friend. Explain that, if you will. Why have we created such a terrible world for ourselves to live in? Or for ourselves to believe in. We could hardly have done worse. Why do we invariably afflict and oppress ourselves with hideous bureaucracies? As I say, we must hate ourselves very much indeed…
What makes us hate ourselves so much? It is – as I have already said – because we have been shut down. It comes out of the pain of being shut down. What pain is worse than this? We hurt so much and we don’t know why we hurt. We hurt so much and we don’t know that we do hurt. We are alienated from our own pain, our own grief. Why are we alienated from our own pain, we might ask? Simply because we have been alienated from ourselves – that’s the whole point, isn’t it? That’s where it all stems from. We don’t know ourselves. We don’t allow ourselves. We police ourselves on a daily basis.
What worse thing can you do to a person than alienate him or her from who they really are? And this is what society does to us. This is what we do to ourselves. What makes us do it? Our malice, of course. Our infinite, incalculable malice. You see someone being true to themselves, you see someone being happy, and that cuts you like a knife – you want to stamp on them. You want to stamp their happiness out. You want to put a stop to it. You want to take the smile off their face. You say you don’t do that? Well then, just take a look at yourself – watch what you do to yourself the next time you notice yourself being true to yourself, the next time you notice yourself being happy. What do you do? You put a stop to it. Don’t you…?
