‘Demonhead is here’, I said to myself, but he wasn’t. There was only me saying it. There was just the loop of me and whatever I happened to be saying at the time. Demonhead was excluded from the loop – everyone is excluded from that loop. There was only me allowed in it. Just me. I alone have the right; I alone have admission to this particular party. Mine is the only name on the guest list…
‘Welcome to the loop’ I intoned hollowly. I was proud and at the same time intensely sad. I realized how very lonely I was stuck in my loop and the sadness was overwhelming. I felt as if I could cry. ‘I am alone in the loop’ I wailed despairingly – but in my thoughts not out loud because I didn’t want people to hear me. I thought it best to keep my despair to myself.
‘Demonhead is here’, I said to myself again and this time it was true. He was floating malignantly around the room. He had the appearance of a rattlesnake’s head but with no body. He moved around this way and that way around the room, his tongue darting in and out. Periodically he would open his mouth and I could see his fangs, which were dripping venom.
‘Welcome to the world of me and my thoughts’, I whispered in sepulchral tones. I kept it low because I didn’t want anyone to overhear me. They might think that I was strange. It’s not nice when people think you’re strange. They look at you in a funny way – I have learned that from bitter experience. I have learned to keep my thoughts to myself. I have learned to stay safely secured within the loop of me and my thoughts.
Demonhead doesn’t always manifest as a snake’s head. It depends on his mood. Usually he appears in a more normal guise – a random person in the crowd perhaps, or sometimes he likes to take the form of a minor official of some sort. Maybe a ticket collector or a social welfare officer or – on occasion – as a policeman investing reports of some sort of incident. Demonhead can appear as anyone – he could appear as your best friend. Only not my best friend because I don’t have any.
‘Welcome to the loop, guys’ I say brightly. ‘I know you’re going to really like it there. You know what’s trending right now? It’s the loop that’s trending. You’re going to find it very interesting. Because everyone else is finding it interesting. The loop is trending like nobody’s business. It’s trending like there’s no tomorrow.’ Only it wasn’t. That was just something I said to cheer myself up…