I had a very odd moment literally just a few minutes ago, just as I was walking down the corridor from the main hospital to the Clinical Science Institute. I really don’t know how to describe it – it’s not like anything else at all. It doesn’t have any relationship to anything else in my life that would allow me to talk about it. The best I can say is that it was like the emergence of something totally new, totally unprecedented, totally unexpected: I realized in that moment that I am not just some crappy person leading a crappy boring life. I always thought I was (perhaps without consciously acknowledging the thought), but I’m not!
I’m a hero, a being of unlimited powers and capabilities! I’m more than just a hero, I’m The One. I’m like Neo in The Matrix. I know myself – beyond any doubt whatsoever – to be The One. All the falsehood, all the superficiality, all the tedious dross, it all just falls aside. It all falls way in an instant and I am revealed to myself as I am! There can be no revelation as strange and unexpected than this – one moment you’re just this crappy person leading this crappy pointless boring life and then the next you know yourself to be the Immortal One, the Ineffable One, the Ultimate Cosmic Enigma.
You recognize yourself slowly – you’re not rubbish like you thought you were, you’re It, you’re The One… How could you have forgotten? How could you have mistaken yourself for just some run-of-the-mill nondescript dipstick? How could that disguise, that cloak of dreary banality have taken so well? All these questions and many more run through your head. They can’t be answered however – they are unanswerable questions, part of the enigma that is you, the Cosmic Enigma. All pretences, all superficialities fall aside. You know yourself to be who you are. Everything is splendour. Golden light suffuses your vision. The words from the Chapters of Coming Forth By Day run through your mind – “I am that I am that I am that I am…”
Verses from the Chapters of Coming Forth unfold themselves through your mind: “I am the flame that shineth upon the Opener of the Hundreds of Thousands of Years. …I am the standard of young plants and flowers. …I am the Ancient One, whose thoughts create the world”.
And then that moment passes and you forget all that glory as quickly as it came to you. You become bloody old Joe Bloggs again, lost in your crappy pointless life again. Getting caught up in all that familiar tiresome old bullshit. As if it really mattered. Which to you it now does. It’s all you know, all you care about. I ask you to consider – how perplexing is that?