When you’re an illusion living in the illusion world trying to pretend that you’re not an illusion then – let me tell you – things can get pretty damn vicious! It’s not just that things ‘can’ get vicious either – they really and truly do. Things get vicious every time. It’s a dog eat dog world out there, as you know. Only it’s not about dogs as such it’s about the godforsaken illusory pseudo-entities that we are forever promoting and committing heinous acts on behalf of. That’s what it’s really about. It’s about all the dreadful old bullshit that goes on in the pestilential illusion world. It’s about it’s about
It’s about oh God I don’t know what it’s about I’m so tired of talking I’m so tired of talking I’m so tired so tired I’m so tired of the sound of my own voice the only thing worse than the interminable drone of my own voice is the uncomfortable silence that starts gathering ominously around me when I stop talking. That’s my predicament you see and it’s not one to be envied. It quickly moves beyond being merely uncomfortable to being downright terrifying and that’s why I see the never-ending drone of my own voice as being the lesser of two evils.
This somewhat wry observation of mine brings us right back to what I was saying at the start which is that when you’re an illusion living in the illusion realm trying as hard as you can to pretend that you’re not an illusion (living in the illusion realm) then things can get pretty vicious. Everyone’s out for themselves, out for what they can get. Climbing over everyone else. Everyone’s busy trying to make out that it’s not them that is the illusion but that it’s the other guy. We all try to get the other person to feel bad, to feel that there’s something wrong with them, that they’re weird or something. And don’t tell me that we don’t try to do this because I know damn well that we do. When we succeed we get this buzz of knowing that it’s the other guy who’s the freak, the other guy who’s the fuckup, who’s the loser, who’s the one everyone’s going to be laughing at…
You get this sweet sweet feeling that it’s the other guy who is unreal not you and that’s the ultimate buzz. That’s the winner buzz. The other guy gets the loser buzz. Let them suck on that you say because they’re losers anyway and they deserve it. We all want that winner buzz. Don’t try to tell me that we don’t because I know we do. Only at the same time that we know that the other guy is the unreal one not us we can’t help knowing – deep down – that we’re not really real either and this denied knowledge adds an extra viciousness to the struggle. This denied knowledge poisons everything. Knowing deep-down that we’re only fooling ourselves only fuels the aggression, it fuels the sheer heartless pointless violence of it all. If you know what I mean. I tell you, it’s a dog eat dog world out there…
