Suppose There Was No Such Thing As Reality

This is a good one, by the way – I’d say you’ll like it. You might like it, anyway. Possibly. It’s a bit of a philosophical conundrum, you see. Did you ever think of this – Suppose there was no such thing as reality and so you had to invent it. What then? How would this work out? Would this be a good idea or would it not? This is looking at things from a bit of a different angle you see, and that’s a very helpful thing to do. Or it can be a helpful thing to do, at any rate. It depends upon what you’re looking for really, I suppose. It all depends on whether you have an appetite for such things.


Yes indeed, one generally doesn’t get much from seeing things in the same old way that everyone else does. One doesn’t generally get very much from that at all! Unfortunately not. Only it’s not really unfortunate either because it’s kind of what you deserve, if you ask me. It kind of serves you right for being such a bloody muppet! That’s my opinion anyway. That’s what I tend to think. Nope – you will never get anywhere as a result of looking at things in the same old way that every other bloody eejit does. You won’t get very far at all and it will serve you right. What else would you expect?


Suppose there was no such thing as reality, and suppose there was no such thing as you supposing this in the first place? Did you ever think of that? Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t. Maybe you’re the type of person who likes to think upon such things and maybe you aren’t. That’s none of my business anyway so I’ll say no more about it. I’ll pass on to other matters. I’ll go back to the matter under discussion. If there was no such thing as reality then you’d have to make it up for yourself, wouldn’t you? You’d have no choice. You would have to invent it for yourself but this would mean that it wouldn’t actually be up to very much. To be perfectly blunt about it, it wouldn’t exactly be real now would it? That’s the price you pay, however – that’s the price you pay for saying that it’s real when it isn’t. For pretending, in other words. You can’t get away with it, you see – not in the long run. It’ll catch up with you. It will all come tumbling down around your ears soon enough. Before very long. Before you know it, in fact.


“What’s the gain, then?” I hear you ask, “What’s the bloody point of the exercise?” You have put your finger on it there, my friend – you’ve put your finger on it and no mistake. Fair play to you for that. I take my hat off to you – you’ve spotted the weakness in the scheme. The fatal weakness, we might say. You have exposed the flaw the heart of it all. You can invent reality if you want to and that’s all fine and dandy but then you’re caught out because you can’t go anywhere with it. You’re caught on the horns of a dilemma (although why they say dilemma has horns I don’t know).


You invented reality to make up for there being no such thing but having done so you realise that you’re stuck with a bit of a turkey. It’s not actually real after all, and you’re only codding yourself if you say it is. You are only fooling yourself and what’s the point in that? There’s no gain there, as you yourself so rightly point out. As you yourself so perspicaciously point out. There is absolutely no point, and if you say that there is then you’re only codding yourself – you’re codding yourself like a big eejit. You’re talking out of your hat in that case. You started out with the one problem and now you have two! You’ve double the trouble!  You started out badly and now you’re worse… So that’s just about all I’ve got to say on the subject. There you are. There you have it…




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