Everyone always praises the solution – “The solution is great, the solution is marvellous, the solution is wonderful!” we say. “Bring on the solution”, we chant in unison, “bring it on because it’s so damn great…”
Of course everyone praises the solution; naturally we do. It makes perfect sense that we should praise it. It is only right and proper that we should. The solution solves stuff and that’s a very good thing. That’s a fantastic thing. It ranks right up there with all the other very good things – it’s in the Top Ten!
When stuff isn’t solved however then that is very bad news, by the same token. By that very same ominous token. Mostly stuff isn’t solved – it rarely is, in point of fact. Hardly ever. And then there’s the question of ‘false alarms’, as it were. ‘False positives’ you could say, which is where you think something is solved but it isn’t. There are a lot of those false alarms – that’s mostly what happens, one way or another…
Yes, folk are always clamouring about how great solutions are. They are the bee’s knees for sure. The best thing since some really good thing. They come in many different tempting flavours, too! What’s your favourite? Write your answer in the comments below, if you feel so inclined. I’m fond of the ones that come in liquorice flavour, myself. The Sherbert flavoured ones are good too.
And we don’t want to forget about the Biggest and Greatest Solution of all either – that being Judgment Day, of course. When the Day of Rapture comes then everything will be solved, so you can see what’s an important day that’s going to be. How very important, how very significant indeed. It’s number one in terms of importance. Stuff will be solved once and for all that on that day, you can bank on it! It’ll be solved one way or the other and that’s for sure…
Everything will be solved, either the one way or the other, on the Day of Days and I expect that’s why many folk are so terribly keen for it to come to pass. They’re horny for the apocalypse. They’re impatient, you see – they’re fed up with all this dangling. No one likes to be left dangling. It’s not very nice after all. It’s not fair. It’s just not right to put people through it and so I for one can sympathize (up to a point, that is) with those of us who just want to get it all over with. They’re not being unreasonable, at the end of the day. Not too unreasonable, at any rate…
Skip straight ahead to the conclusion, that’s what I always say! The hell with all this messing about. Of course, it goes without saying that all this malarkey about the Day of Reckoning might just turn out to be a load of hot air in the end. You know the way people are, after all. We all know the way people are – we’re addicted to our own bullshit, every last one of us! That’s all we ever do; all we ever do is come out with outrageous bullshit. We’re consummate bullshit artists, we’ll happily talk shyte from morning till night! But can you blame us? Isn’t that the way we’re made?
So maybe stuff never will get solved – maybe that’s just a ‘hopeful projection’ on our part. A comforting fantasy that we have invented for ourselves. We imagine that the solution is only just around the corner, and this gives us the courage to carry on. This gives us the courage to live our lives. We humans are a funny old lot, are we not? We’re as obstinate as hell. In fact, the only thing equal to our obstinacy is our stupidity! We’ll persist with our absurdly stupid, self-contradictory beliefs until the end of time if we could, despite the undeniable fact that none of it ever does us the slightest bit of good. Now, don’t try to tell me you don’t find that perverse!
