“Do you remember the time, do you remember the time?” I cried out gaily, with both brightness and perspicacity, and we all duly set about slapping each other heartily on the shoulders, grinning broadly and making amusing quips. Life was good and spirits were high. We were not long at this however before the atmosphere changed abruptly for the worse and everyone grew serious. Serious matters were afoot, although none of us wanted to be the first to admit it. A New Reality was dawning and before we knew it reality shifted its gears on us and we found ourselves in a great empty barn – we were bats, hanging deftly from the rafters. Our time would soon come, we reassured ourselves nervously, our time would soon come…

We were walking the streets, mingling with the crowds that were there, slapping shoulders and making light-hearted jests as we went. Such was our way. Such was ever our way. Our souls were black and shrivelled things however, despite all our finery and evident good humour. We had bought and sold the earth, and all that was in it, and the party was soon coming to an end. It had seemed like a good idea at the time of course, it always seems like a good idea at the time, as you know. Until it ends up that your soul has gone all black and shrivelled.

I was wearing the silver filigreed emblem of Certified Compliance along with the Golden Badge of Heroic Conformity and was strutting up and down the corridor, admiring myself in the body-length mirrors that had been hung up on the walls there at regular intervals for that very purpose. It was the Corridor of Mirrors through which all have to pass. I knew I looked good and pride flooded my being – “None may criticise me now”, I crowed delightedly, “for I bear the Mark of Great Renown and they shall not castigate nor criticise me anymore, as they so love to do”. Folk are fickle you see, they don’t mean to be, I suppose, but they are. Folk are horribly fickle and it doesn’t do to forget it.

All of that is just fantasy of course – I have never been awarded the silver filigreed Emblem of Compliance and I knew I never would be. Neither had I ever won one of these highly-coveted coveted badges of Heroic Conformity. Not that I hadn’t tried, you understand. Not that I haven’t tried. God knows I have tried time and time again to gain approval but it never seems to do me any good. People can sense that I am desperate and this gives the game away. I am shunned and cold-shouldered wherever I go. In my fantasies everyone likes and approves of me. In reality – not so much. In reality, not so much at all…

In the meantime, a New Age had dawned and when we came to our senses again we were sea lions, barking happily amidst the crashing of the great Pacific combers, preparing ourselves for yet another day of feasting upon the bounty of the sea. Spirits were high and whiskers were aquiver and none of us wished to address the uncomfortable fact that it was all just a consensual hallucination. That would have been something of a party killer, of course! No one is ever going to thank you for that. Instead, our thoughts were turned eagerly towards the prospect of feasting to our heart’s content upon the schools of the sleek silver pilchards which swarm ceaselessly as far as the eye can see…