Bad Vibes and Uncool People

Folk are so damn quick to talk, aren’t they? They’re so damn keen to start yapping in your ear, given any chance at all. They only have to open their mouths and all this eager talk comes tumbling out! If only they wouldn’t, right? If only they would think the better of it, and just not go there, what a relief that would be! ‘For God’s sake,’ you want to shout out, ‘do you guys never shut up?’ They can’t, though – they’re just not able. They just don’t know how. That’s just the way it is, as I’m sure you yourself realize perfectly well. I expect you’re as annoyed as I am.


You were uneasy at the party, uneasy and out of sorts. You weren’t having a good time. Uncool people were giving you bad vibes. They were ruining your buzz – there was no chance at all of you having a buzz with them around! The uncool people were everywhere – there was no way for you to avoid them and it was doing your head in big time. If only there were some cool people to hang out with, you told yourself, then I’d be able to vibe with them and have a super-cool time, but it wasn’t to be, unfortunately. It wasn’t to be…


I was playing the ‘I’m Not The Idiot You Are!’ game with myself. There’s plenty of mileage in that, I can tell you. Plenty of mileage there and no mistake. ‘I’m not the idiot – you are!’ I shouted pugnaciously, putting the blame firmly on myself. ‘No, you are the only idiot here!’ I roared back, not taking it for a second. I was frankly livid: ‘I’ve a good mind to come over there and give you a few good slaps to the head!’ I screamed. It’s like the finals at Wimbledon, you see – it goes on forever due to the immense stubbornness of all concerned. Both the immense stubbornness and the immense bad mindedness, should I say. The immense stubbornness and bad mindedness of all concerned.


Bad vibes and uncool people – it’s the same wherever I go! Always the uncool vibes and the bad people, doing their best to do kill my buzz. Little do they realise that I am the Messiah of the Coming Evil and that it is my thankless task to go around informing folk about the utter futility and emptiness of their lives. The message I have to pass on is as simple as it is unpalatable. What’s more, we all know it to be true. We know very well that it’s true – we know well that it’s true but we won’t countenance it all the same! ‘Back off’, I warned myself sternly, ‘back off before I have to come over to you and teach you a lesson…’ I grimaced horribly at this point to show that I wasn’t joking. You’d realise I wasn’t joking if you ever saw me – I’m not really the joking sort…



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