Sometimes people say that corporations are evil and that they do bad stuff. That’s not necessarily true though. I’m a corporation and I’m not evil. My name is Archon Enterprises Incorporated and I’m not in the least bit evil – I can promise you that. Maybe you’ve even heard of me? People like me, on the whole. They like me a lot. People get on well with me, and they generally say they like my zany sense of humour. I’m like that you see – a bit zany, a bit whacky, a bit off the wall. But good fun too at the same time, if you know what I mean. Not weird any kind of creepy way – that’s not what I mean at all. My name isn’t Archon Enterprises really though, that’s just my little joke. It’s a kind of an ‘in-joke’, you might say; it’s an in-joke for all those people who know about Archons. ‘Reality as we know it is a lie’, kind of thing. That kind of stuff. Reality management, in other words – the proper and correct regulation of reality, in accordance with the relevant policies. So that is why it’s important for you to make sure to familiarise yourself with the policies and procedures of your organisation so that you can make sure that you are fully compliant with them. ‘And what organisation might that be?’ you ask slyly, feigning stupidity. You’re not stupid at all. ‘Why’, I reply, ‘Archon Enterprises, of course – what else’. AE Inc. ‘Reality as you know it…’, etc, etc. Reality as we know it. What a bunch of muppets we are, huh? What a joke, what a bloody great joke. Muppets in the Muppet Farm. Muppets as far as the eye can see. Lambs to the slaughter – every last one of us. I will have my little joke, you see – I like to lighten the atmosphere so it’s not all doom and gloom. Humour is very important after all. Where would we be without a good laugh every now and again? And not just a snigger or a smirk or a snide remark but a proper belly laugh, the type of laugh that makes your belly shake like a great big wobbly jelly. That’s the time of type of laugh I’m talking about here – the ‘real deal’, you might say… Your whole belly has got to shake, that’s how you know it’s the genuine thing. Your belly has got to shake like a vast mountain of jelly on a plate. People sometimes ask me if it’s true that corporations and organisations and institutions and the like are always evil. ‘Not necessarily’, I tell them, with a big old shit-eating grin on my face and a roguish twinkle in my eye, ‘and anyway that depends upon your definition of evil…’ I then go into a lengthy rambling spiel about this, which generally puts folk’s minds at rest. Well – at least I assume it does. ‘Evil is as evil does’, after all, and what you don’t know can’t hurt you…
