In The Land Of The Babblers

I was in the Land of the Babblers. ‘Do you know that thing, do you know that thing,’ I babbled away excitedly, ‘do you know that thing where you think you are enlightened but really you’re just a stupid jerk? The other babblers – the ones in my immediate vicinity – nodded their agreement straightaway. They always nod their agreement straightaway – it’s kind of their thing. It’s kind of what they do.


You’d go mad of course. You would go mad in the Land of the Babblers. You’d go mad for sure. How could you bear it? There’s nothing worse than them, not anywhere in the whole universe. That’s actually true – you can look it up in Wikipedia if you don’t believe me! I read it on page 63 in the Honest Book of Truth. In big letters. In great big letters that you can’t possibly miss. Everything in the Honest Book of Truth is true – every last single little bit of it. Even the bits that sound dodgy are true. Or at least partially true. Even the bits of it that are obviously outright lies are true. That’s how good the Book Of Truth is, you see. That’s how powerful it is. The Honest Book Of Truth surely is a great book – we just have to believe and then we’ll be guaranteed Eternal Life.


Even the lies are true, but all the same you can’t entirely trust them. You can and you can’t trust them, but mostly you can’t. On the whole, you can’t. In the Land of the Babblers (so it is said) the Sly-Faced Bamboozler is King – he is both Arch-Predator and Supreme Tyrant, call him what you will. I know what I’d call him, but I’ll stay out of it for now! The Supreme Predator and Arch-Tyrant walks amongst us every day – inconspicuously, like – and there’s never a one that can spot him. If you knew what you were looking for however you might stand a chance. You might observe a certain glint in his eye, a malicious glint that says ‘I am going to devour every last one of you and I’m going to enjoy it…’


The Babblers are babbling faster now, something is in the air but no one has made any direct reference to it. Not yet, anyway. Not so far. The babbling becomes a mighty murmur that spreads across the land, causing consternation in high places. ‘Do you know that thing’, you blabber tremulously, ‘do you know that thing where you think you’ve achieved multi-dimensional awakening but really you’re just a tool?’ You are babbling helplessly at this stage, you’re babbling your little heart out – you don’t even know what you’re saying anymore. You’re lost in the uncomfortable gap between where you would like to be and where you’re afraid you will probably end up.


That’s a very uncomfortable place to be, isn’t it? One of the worst, I’d say. Definitely one of the worst. It occurred to me then that there might be something wrong with reality – some kind of a problem or glitch, perhaps. Maybe someone did it on purpose. ‘Maybe someone has been messing around with the reality supply’, I say to myself, ‘maybe it’s all a hideous trap?’ I have no defence against these types of thoughts you see. I’m helpless, I’m as gullible as the day was long. The thoughts come along and I – like a fool – believe them. I believe them every time. I believe each and every one of them! The thoughts kick my ass from one end of the town to the other. I’m like a football to them. ‘What am I supposed to do?’ I ask myself, ‘How am I supposed to respond to this terrible situation?’ I don’t know the answer to this question, however. What is anyone supposed to do when it’s reality itself that is wrong?



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