I wanted to talk about how all the joyful, contented, deeply fulfilled people that we see in the images get to be that way because they’ve chosen to worship the product. This is something I feel very passionate about, uniquely passionate, in fact. It’s a subject close to my heart and I could talk about it for hours. I’m intrigued by these deeply fulfilled and highly confident people, I want to find out more about them. I want to know what it feels like to be them. I want to experience – however vicariously – the profound validation that comes from a life spent in service of the most wonderful and supremely inspirational product. All those superbly contented and fulfilled people – who could ever guess that life could contain the possibility for such bliss? I for one certainly wouldn’t have guessed it.

I’m watching the world go by. That’s a kind of a hobby, isn’t it? A type of a hobby. It’s a hobby for some people anyway, a not-unheard-of pastime, shall we say? It’s something to do. I’m sitting here in the deli section of the Spar shop in Terryland watching the world go by and my impression is that it’s going by awfully fast! It’s thundering by like some sort of express train. Would you look at it go! It’d knock you clean off your feet. I don’t know where it’s going but I do know that it’s in a terrible hurry to get there. I’m interested in the phantasmagorical activities of the human race, you see. Very interested, in fact. ‘What are they at?’ I wonder. ‘In the name of the devil what are they all at?’ I’m watching the world go by and from time to time I get a bit of a nervous impulse to run after it so that I don’t get left behind. Getting left behind is a very serious possibility for me at this stage. It could happen. ‘Should I perhaps try to catch up with the world?’ I wonder. ‘If I wait much longer then then then I’ll have no chance…’ The impulse comes and the impulse goes but I remain on the side-lines, as it were. The force of inertial rules the roost as far as I’m concerned, I’m afraid. Most things just seem like too much effort for me. I get exhausted thinking about them.

A stray thought drifts into my head and I seize hold of it. That’s what I’m thinking about now you see – I’m thinking about how when a thought comes into your head it’s your solemn duty to think it. ‘Think the thought’, I say to myself, ‘think the bloody thought before it gets away from you’. Before it does a runner. ‘Think the thought, think the thought, think the thought’, my machine-like thoughts tell me. ‘Think the thought you bloody bastard…’ My thoughts are abusive, of course. Always so very abusive. ‘What is the phenomenon of human existence all about anyway?’ I ask the air around me. ‘Am I just supposed to sit here and be abused by my own thoughts? Is that what my life is supposed to be about?’ Waking up in the morning, getting roundly abused by your thoughts all day long, and then it’s off to sleep again. That’s called ‘the rigmarole of daily existence’, and it’s a right pain, let me tell you. It’s well-nigh unbearable. It’s called samsaric suffering – it’s a well-known thing…

It occurs to me that my personal entropy is getting out of hand. It’ll do that if you let it, of course. It’ll do that every time. Stuck fast in the insanely tedious rigmarole of my own daily existence. The rigmarole has me crucified at this stage, let me tell you. ‘That guy’s got a fully-fledged Messiah complex’, I hear you saying to yourself, ‘this poor sap thinks he’s the Future Buddha!’ You’ve seen it all before, of course. You’ve seen it all before a million times. I like LSD as much as the next guy of course but sometimes I can’t help wondering do I really want to see the truth? I know I say that I do but do I really? Am I sincere or is it all just an act that I’m putting on? And if it is all just an act – which it possibly is – do I really want to know? Do I really want to know if it’s an act or not or would I be better off not knowing? These are the questions that come swarming into my brain you see. These questions and many like them…