Speaking about the imaginary particles, laughing about the imaginary particles, telling hilariously funny stories about the imaginary particles. Reminiscing about them. Lecturing far and wide about them. You were a famous scientist, a theoretical physicist, renowned in your own imagination for your great discoveries. You theorised the existence of a whole class of hitherto undreamt-of hallucinatory pseudo-particles, you postulated the existence of particles that travel through unreal dimensions, shooting back and forth like knitting needles, stitching an entire universe just like you might knit an oversized woolly jumper, making things seem to be there when they aren’t.

You predicted it and yet they laughed at you. They laughed at you in the days of your youth, poking fun at you in all the academic publications. Experts berated you – they viciously harangued you from all sides. The general public derided you, scoffed at you, reviled you. Publicans refused to serve you. Burning with shame, you resolved to go into hiding, you dyed your hair, grew a massive moustache, you did your best to avoid social contact whenever you could. You invented a new religion based on extra-terrestrial aliens but you told no one about it.

Then one day the news broke that your theories had been vindicated – researchers in one of the top universities proved the existence of imaginary particles beyond any doubt. Hallucinatory researchers in one of the top universities of the Hallucinatory World proved conclusively that the hypothetical H-particle was actually real after all. It had been tracked in an imaginary bubble chamber, its behaviour conforming to the super-complex equations that you had derived in that first white-hot flash of your initial extraordinary revelation. Your detractors are booed in the streets. They are pelted with filth whenever they show their faces. They have lost kudos.

All of this takes place in your head of course, all of this is enacted in your very own over-crowded imagination. You had created an imaginary world in your own imagination, you had made the discoveries that destined you to take your place in the Hall of Fame. You had made the discoveries that propelled you into the very highest stratum of scientific renown. Yours is a name to be conjured with. All the science textbooks had to be rewritten because of you. You are the father of a whole new family of hallucinatory subatomic particles. They said it could never be true but it was, they said the Hallucination Particle wasn’t real but you proved them wrong.

You hallucinated the Laws of Hallucinogenics into existence at the same time as you hallucinated yourself. Your fame has travelled far and wide. You are the discoverer of the Imaginary Universe and you yourself are no less imaginary. Your equations are beyond reproach, your formulae have never failed. Your place in the history books is ensured.

They said it could never be true but it was, you said they said that the Hallucination Particle wasn’t real but you proved them wrong. You’re proud but you’re humble – you’re proud because of your undying fame and you’re humble because you made it all up in your own head, your own head which was never real in the first place.

The laws of physics have all been thrown into confusion.They have been thrown into disarray.  You predicted the Unreal Universe with spooky accuracy and yet they laughed at you. They laughed and laughed as if they would never stop, they jeered as you passed by, they belittled you at every turn. They cursed your name and denounced you in public meetings. They made a mockery of you but you proved them wrong in the end.