The fantastical imbecility of the human race amuses the absolute shyte out of me. Well sometimes it does. The odd time it does. Mostly it just fucks me off though. People love talking so much that they never wait to see if what they’re saying actually makes sense or not. Did you ever notice that? I have noticed that. The talking itself is the thing, not what you might or might not have to say. Shut up you bastards, I want to say. Shut the fuck up…
Viruses are eating my head. They’re eating the head off me. They’re chomping on it. It’s not the regular old RNA type viruses I’m talking about but the Memeazoidal Type, de minimis au regular, as we all know so well. De minimis. They feast and they feast. They infallibly convert everything into garbage. Holy Garbage. Sacred Garbage, Sacred Effluence. So that we can all worship together at the altar of the Great Travesty. Convert to the Church of Perpetual Dumb and say how great the Shit-Sucking Trash World is. Give sincere thanks for it. Give thanks to the oozing toxic effluence that subsumes us all. Because we think it’s so great (even though we know that it isn’t).
‘Lovely memes in my head making me feel so great,’ I sang. I was singing my heart out, without a care in the world. I was on a sacred mission but I didn’t know what it was. I was bumbling along haphazardly like a complete jackass, talking complete and utter shit and making a laughing stock of myself far and wide. I was in a sacred mission but I didn’t know it. I was a tool of the bad memes and they were making me do lots and lots of evil things. I was their instrument. And yet the weird thing was that I felt so good! I have never felt so good in the whole of my life – not that this is saying very much I suppose. You too can become a total fuckhead say the meme hordes as they throng murderously through my decaying synapses.
Way back when, way back when, way back in the far distant future which no regular human can remember, I used to be a much better person. Indeed I did. So much better. That’s there’s no disputing that – I have fallen a long way since then. How far I have fallen! How very far, how very very far. My ignominy is complete. Way back when in the far-distant future-which-is-yet-to-be I was the Original Man. I was Adam Kadmon. I will be Adam Kadmon. There’s no way that I couldn’t have been the Original Man actually – that is indisputable. No one can argue with me on that one. The Original Man was a woman too, just in case you think that this is a bit sexist of me. A manly woman or a womanly man. With many heads and arms. A god.
The Original Man was actually a hermaphrodite, of course. The Divine Hermaphrodite. When you make the man into the woman and the woman into man then you will find the Kingdom of Heaven, says Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas. What could be clearer than that? There’s equality for you, if that’s what you’re hung up on. Being the Divine Hermaphrodite isn’t a gender though, just in case you might have thought that it is. Which you might have done. It would be entirely excusable if you had. Don’t think that I’m getting at you. I know I’m bad-tempered, but so would you be if you had just been through what I have. You’d be cranky and foul-tempered too…
