Robots Are My Friends

‘Some food is healthy and tasty,’ I remarked brightly, keen to spark up some kind of in conversation, keen to reach out to my fellow humans. My comment was met with sullen silence however. This is what I don’t like about humans – they’re always so damn moody and unpleasant. They always bring some kind of bad vibes into the situation. People are so often bad-vibe merchants! They are unhappy with their lives, I suppose – they’re unhappy in some deep down way that possibly they don’t even know about. This is what I tell myself, anyway! They’re always finding faults with others because they can’t see that the fault lies with them for always projecting their negativity onto the world because of the way that they are so damn unhappy with their lives without ever admitting to it. That’s a kind of rotten old thing really and yet it’s common enough in humans. It’s far too common. It is what’s called ‘the human condition’, I believe. That’s the human condition for you and it makes for some pretty ugly situations, I can tell you!


I’ve never had this problem with robots – no matter what you say to a robot it will always answer you in a polite and interested way. Robots – in my experience – are always happy to talk. Even the tiny little ones are always happy to talk, although it can be hard to hear what they are saying unless you go right up close to them. Even the police-bots that patrol the streets are happy to talk. I often talk to the police bots. I might say ‘It’s important to always obey the law, isn’t it officer?’ and the police-bots will answer ‘Yes that’s true my friend – you have said a very true thing there. It is very important to always obey the law.’ Then the police-bot – more often than not – will give me a friendly wink and continue on its way…


I suppose the reason I like talking to bots is because there are always willing to enter into a conversation on any subject that I might care to raise. Not once have I ever been snubbed or made to feel stupid by an android, whilst this type of thing always happens to me when I try to interact with humans, even though I am of course a human myself! I find this quite astonishing – why don’t humans like other humans? Why don’t humans think ‘Oh look – there’s a human just like me! How wonderful – I think I’ll go over and say something friendly!’ Do humans behave like that? Not usually, I’m afraid to say. Not very often at all. I mean I’d like to say that humans are nice to be around but my experience teaches me otherwise. I actually find human beings quite frightening, if I may say that. I find them menacing and unpredictable. Not robots though – robots are my friends.







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