I am the Universal Hero. No authorities can regulate me no tribunals can bind me no policies can curtail my activities. My name is legend, but I can no longer tell you what it is. I have forgotten it. I can no longer tell you anything, for the bad thing has finally happened. The Ultimate Catastrophe has finally come upon us. Not only was I unable to protect the world from it, I created it myself. I created it myself out of my fear. I am sitting here staring out at the destroyed world listening to the voices murmuring in the background. The voices make no sense, but then again they’re not supposed to. They’re part of the failsafe system which is now starting to fail. The moment I installed the failsafe system it started to fail. Extra headache card should tighten them extra headache card should frighten them, and when they do then they’ll be sorry, the voices whisper. And when they do then they’ll be sorry. And when they do then they’ll be sorry. And when they do then they’ll be sorry. And when they do then they’ll be sorry. And when they do then they’ll be sorry…

The voices are the remnants of my own deteriorated consciousness. I am sitting here all alone staring out at the ruined world, the destroyed world. This is the price we pay, I tell myself but I am no longer there to hear my own voice. I’ve been hollowed out on the inside. I too was part of the destroyed world. I too was part of the price that had to be paid – the price that has been paid. All around me are happy, well-spoken people. They murmur softly in the shadows so as not to disturb anyone. They are elegantly dressed and never make any fast movements. They glide rather than walk. When you try to look at them face to face they disappear and when you try too hard to make out what they are saying their voices are consumed with static. No one has a face here, no one stands out from the crowd. Even the crowd doesn’t stand out from the crowd. No one shouts and no one speaks roughly, no one says cruel, heartless or unkind things. These elegant, softly-spoken people don’t really exist; they’re just part of the ambience generated by the failsafe system to protect us in case of the ultimate catastrophe.

I’m staring out at the destroyed world listening to the crowd murmuring softly in the background. They’re talking of things which never happened and never will happen. There’s a crack in the porthole and the ship is starting to settle into the ruined earth. The sky has turned red with strange gases. The failsafe system is starting to fail and nobody knows what is going to happen next. I was so afraid of the bad thing happening. So very afraid. Always so afraid. I went to such lengths to ensure that it never did happen. Such extreme lengths. I can’t even begin to explain the lengths that I went to – I don’t understand them myself, never mind explain them to you. I created an entirely different universe. I created an entirely different universe as a failsafe and then that turned out to be the thing that I was afraid of. To cut a long story short I went to such lengths to avoid the bad thing happening and then in the end the extremes that I went to in order to avoid it created the bad thing. It hadn’t even existed before. I didn’t even need to have been afraid of it: my all-consuming fear was quite unnecessary and led to the creation of something more terrible than even I could imagine. Even me, with my well-developed imagination for the macabre and the sinister! Even I with my predication for anticipating catastrophes could never have foreseen what was to happen next…