The Boss Buzz

I was in the Designed Environment. “Whoopee!” I thought, “I’m in the Designed Environment…” The Designed Environment was great, the Designed Environment was super-cool. You could do all these cool things in it, you could explore all these marvellous possibilities. We all love the Designed Environment, don’t we? You bet we do. We love it so damn much…


We can’t get enough of it because it’s so damn good. It’s real addictive, like a real addictive thing. And even if – by some chance – it weren’t addictive we’d still have to keep coming back to it. We’d still have to come back to it because there’s nowhere else to go! Even if we did get enough of it we still wouldn’t be able to leave! We all know the song, right? You know that there’s no leaving just as well as I do. I don’t need to tell you that. We all know that. I don’t need to point the facts of the situation out to you as if you were some type of total gom who doesn’t know anything!


There’s a real thrill to the Designed Environment isn’t there? There’s a hell of a buzz to it. For the first little while anyway, before it all gets old. For that oh-so-very-brief period of time before you have had enough of it. There’s some buzz out of it, right? The best buzz going, for sure. What I like to call ‘the Boss Buzz’. That old Boss Buzz is the boss, it surely is. It’s the boss of all of us…


But then after that things get real flat real soon. As you know. The fairground has lost its magic, lost its mystery. Man, there’s nothing worse than a fairground that’s lost its magic, is there? That surely is the pits. That shit is bleak, man. Real fucking bleak. You don’t want to be hanging around there, only of course you have to. You have to because there’s nowhere else for you to go! And then after a while, when it really sinks in that there’s nowhere else to go, things start to get worse again. The Environment is gonna shift gears on you and take you into a different zone entirely. A zone you never expected. A zone you didn’t see coming. Even though I know I just said there wasn’t anything worse, there actually is. There’s always something worse, isn’t there? You know that as well as I do.


The fairground gets all seedy and grotty when the magic goes. It turns all sinister and mean-looking. There are some bad characters around and you have to watch out for them. Real bad characters. Sinister fucking characters…  Things can get real bad real quickly around here and then what are you going to do?


The main buzz has gone, the Boss Buzz has evaporated as if it were never there. Weird how a buzz can do that, isn’t it. Weird in a bad way. It changes gears on you in a big way. You don’t need me to tell you that! Man that’s a nasty moment when it does that. That’s bad shit. We all know that moment, right? That moment when the Boss Buzz shifts gears on you and then before you know it it’s gone as if it were never there.


So when the Boss Buzz quits the scene you have to look for some kind of substitute in a hurry. You have to look for some kind of secondary buzz, some kind of tawdry and unconvincing distraction buzz. You have to start scouring the seedy backwater of the empty abandoned fairground for a distraction buzz. You have to up the ante. That’s bad shit when that happens, right? That’s when you know you’re on your way to a bad place…


Welcome to the Environment my friends. Welcome to the fairground. Welcome to the party. Get your party hats on now. Welcome to the circus. Welcome to the circus which is my tired old mind, only you’ve seen all the acts before. You’ve seen all the acts before and they weren’t even that good the first time around. They weren’t any good at all. The jokes were stale the first time you heard them but you could forgive that because you were in good form, because you were in good humour. You poor sad ejit you. There’s nothing like the horror of repetition, is there? There surely isn’t. Welcome to my mind, folks. I hope you’re gonna like it there, because I sure as hell don’t….





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