I can see now that there are things inside my mind – vile disgusting things, sickeningly repulsive things like grey slimy dead entrails, like pallid grave-yard grubs, like the semi-dormant larvae of some unthinkably unpleasant parasitic organism. They shift and they slide, coiling and uncoiling in slow motion in the most hideously repugnant manner. I fancy I can hear them talk to each other, squeaking hypersonically at each other like bats.
They are an unholy brood, an irredeemably malign infestation. Their very existence an abomination. As I watch them I am sickened – I want to retch, I want to heave my guts up and be rid of them. I want to puke them up on the grass by the park bench where I am sitting. But I can’t manage it – I haven’t the energy to be sick. I can only watch as they slowly undulate. It feels as if my will is paralysed, perhaps by some psychic toxin that they are releasing.
They control me, I realize. They have taken over my mind – they run me. They have total control over me and I am no more than a passive observer – the impotent onlooker of my own gruesome demise.
These vile things – it dawns on me – are my hidden thoughts and my opinions, my shadowy impulses and cravings, my deeply buried prejudices and preconceptions. As I understand this unpalatable truth the disgust I feel reaches unbearable proportions. I have never seen such horrors. My mind is a seething cesspit of horror – a place of unbelievable degradation and surreally sordid self-abasement.
The movement of the grub-creatures are hypnotic. After watching for what seems an eternity I see that in actuality they are all the one worm. I realize now what I am looking at – it is the mind-worm! For all I know it might have been incubating there inside me all of my life, growing fatter and sleeker and ever more extensive in its reach. And now that its power was unchallengeable, it was moving into the next phase of its existence. Whatever that was…