Healthy and contented egos, huh? Sleek and satisfied egos, healthy egos, joyous egos, thriving egos – egos having the time of their lives. You see them everywhere, don’t you? They’re all over the place – showing off as usual. Looking for attention – shamelessly flaunting their sleek coats, bushy tails and button-like eyes, and so on. You know the sort of thing I’m talking about, of course. Everywhere you look you can see nothing but smirking, simpering, self-cherishing egos – it’s the worst of all possible worlds! The very worst, in fact. The vilest of the vile, the worst of the worst. Talk about the slime on the bottom of the barrel, right? Wherever you look there’s one of them looking back at you – all self-satisfied and smug, you know the way they are. Totally creepy. Faking it for all their worth, faking it until the cows come home. Faking it but not knowing that they’re faking it, faking it but feeling like a conquering hero all the same. if you know what I mean. Feeling like God’s gift to humanity. And I’m sure you do know what I mean – the grotesque antics of the pathologically deluded ego are of course very well known to everyone. It’s what we do best – this is the ‘House Special’, this is the ‘spécialité de la maison’…
Faking it for all you’re worth, right? Faking it like there’s no tomorrow. Lying your Goddam head off every time you speak! It’s amazing that it’s still there on your shoulders, do you know that? Totally amazing. Feeling like a conquering hero and all that. Even though the only thing you’ve conquered is your own good sense, your own actual intelligence. Always the first to go, of course. The grotesque and deeply repulsive antics of the psychological ego, right? To talk about scraping the filth from the bottom of the barrel barely does credit to what’s happening here. We like to put a fairground spin on the proceedings – we’re out on the street inviting everyone in to have fun. ‘Roll up, roll up…’ we shout. Roll us and see the amazing mutant freaks living their sad mutant lives! Line up to catch a tantalising glimpse of the most abnormal freaks you’ll ever see! You’ll be disturbed for weeks afterwards. Damn straight you will. You won’t sleep right for a month of Mondays. Take your chance on the rickety old Big Wheel. Take a trip on our famous Ghost Train and see if you can keep your shit together. Contented egos is the name of the game, you see – that’s what it’s all about. That’s what we’re aiming for. That’s the company policy. That’s our guarantee to you. That’s our promise to each and every one of you…
Scraping the contaminated slime from your shoes as you climb aboard the Fun Bus. Mickey Mouse is the ticket collector and the Dude himself is the driver! This will be a trip you won’t forget. This will be a trip you’ll want to tell the folks back home about. Mickey is smiling his famous blank smile and waving everyone to their seats with his ridiculous, stupid-looking, over-large hands, whilst the dude is picking his teeth with a matchstick and looking bored. It’s the adventure of a lifetime of course and no one can say fairer than that. We’re Dreamers you see and we have to dream. It’s what we do – we dream away for all we’re worth. We dream our dark little dreams in unison, under the direct supervision of the Lord Chief Archon Himself.