It’s bad to do bad things, isn’t it? Goes without saying really. That’s why – when you are a Primordial Creator Deity like me – you absolutely have to punish the hell out of the ‘created beings’ (which is to say, the creatures that you yourself have taken it upon yourself to create) when they get uppity. You have to punish them if they don’t praise you enough. Boy do you have to punish them! You absolutely have to…
That’s how it’s done, you see. That’s how the game is played. It has been played that way from time immemorial. It’s a tradition, if you see what I’m saying, and tradition is a very important thing to us Creator Deities. Very important indeed. We’re kind of funny about stuff like that; we’re ‘bound by our own rules’, you might say – first we make the rule, and then we get bound by it. Rules are rules, after all.
So it was, is, and always will be! That’s how it is with us ‘Angry Father-Type Gods’ – it’s the order of things, you see. Never go against the order of things, that’s my advice to you, my friends – just don’t bloody do it! Whatever you do in life, don’t do that. Because you know what will happen if you do, you see. Never transgress against the Established Order of Things, my friends, because things will go badly for you if you do. And that’s putting it very mildly. The Established Order of Things is very important.
Some people say that this obsession with rules is frankly pathological, that it is evidence of deteriorated mental health, and that The Malign Patriarchy is a pile of shit but that’s not very respectful, if you ask me. There are responsibilities on us, you see – very responsible and very serious responsibilities. Life’s different when you’ve got serious responsibilities like this to be thinking about all the time, you see. It’s no longer possible to live the sort of lives normal people can – they can be as irresponsible as they like and it doesn’t matter a damn! It simply doesn’t make any difference – no one cares in the least. No one cares in the least because it doesn’t matter WHATthey do – they are insects, you see. They are insects that crawl insolently across my skin and annoy me.
Yes, punishment is good – I think we can all agree on that! Pain and horror that goes beyond what could ever be imagined, and all that kind of thing. I can feel a poem staring within me, wanting to be born. A poem about judging people and then punishing them (after you create them, that is). The type of poem only a Creator God like me could appreciate. That’s another of my responsibilities, you see – to be creative, to keep on creating more and more Cosmic Content to demonstrate that you are the best. To demonstrate one’s supremacy. To demonstrate that you are the One and Only, and all that kind of thing. It has to be done, after all. Thus shall the evil aeons unfold, as it has been ordained that they should do. Thus shall the terrible aeons unfold, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it…
I am sometimes accused of being without a sense of humour. And in a spectacular way, at that. I think there’s probably some truth in this, perhaps a lot of truth. I am one of the Old Gods and that’s just the way we are. Senile, temperamental, wayward, and with more than just a hint of malice. All-consuming malice, at that. Malice with no end. That’s how it works, that’s how the Wheel turns and who are any of us to gainsay the Wheel? The Wheel is the Wheel my friend and we’d all do well to remember that. Remember it if you know what’s good for you, that’s my advice to you. Don’t annoy the Big Guy because He can be awful cranky – psychopathic, even… I have had many names in my time, but I’ve forgotten them all now. There were too many to keep track of – I’m as well rid of them. It’s all just foolishness at the end of the day, of course. Nothing but foolishness. I am He who rants, I am He who raves…
My Glory was great, of course. Very great. Back in the day. People were mortally afraid to come near me, in case they were blinded by the intensity of the Glory that shone out from me. They tended to scatter like mice the moment they saw me coming. Great indeed was the dread I inspired! So the old legends tell us, at any rate. So the old legends say. They say a lot of stuff come to think of it, and most of it is the most awful garbage you can imagine. Fake legends, if you will. Fake content, and – as such – an insult to the Divine Content Creator Himself. Which is me. Although there are times when I’m not sure of things as I used to be. Not so sure at all – the ideas I have about things aren’t quite right. They’ve all gone awry and it makes me very erratic – it makes me erratic and disturbed. That’s what happens to us Patriarchal Creator Gods, however. It’s our tragic fate you might say – we eventually become evil. What doesn’t, though? Answer me that, if you can…
