I have without any doubt been writing up a storm in recent months. In rapid succession, without ever taking a break, I completed three magnificently insightful and innovative novellas entitled, in order, ‘The adventures of the hard-done-by ego as it launches itself into the world and tries to make a name for itself against all the odds’, ‘The further adventures of our hero the hard-done-by ego as it struggles against an unkind fate and strives mightily to prove to the world that it isn’t the Greatest Loser of All Time’, and the final instalment in the trilogy, ‘The deeply regrettable denouement of our eponymous hero the self-deluding generic ego and its consequential humiliation, and how it attempts to spin this humiliation as some sort of perverse victory’. All in all, I feel confident in proposing that this trilogy of works represents a major contribution to the anals of world literature. As usual of course my critics elected to disagree with me on this point – their ridicule rings in my ears. Time will prove them wrong, of course. Time will always prove them wrong. Time – I do believe – will prove everybody wrong…
My mouth is a Swirling Maw of Darkness, my eyes Blank Portals into a World of Horror and Despair, whilst my ears are Revolving Radar Turrets possessed of the Very Greatest Acuity, picking up the treacherous thoughts of my enemies with Unfailing Accuracy. Picking up the thoughts of my enemies with near supernatural accuracy, I might even say. The tumult is of course all but deafening. On a different note, I can’t help noticing that I have become very superstitious of late, and this is galling for me, having a scientific background as I do. I am a man of science, after all, with many glorious research papers to my name. I have made many important discoveries, and all that sort of stuff. Why – just the other day I discovered that the universe is a malicious hallucination produced by one of the Forgotten Gods of Ancient Antiquity (although I don’t know which one it was). I proved it beyond any shadow of doubt. I have proved many things beyond a shadow of doubt. I’ve lost track of them many things I have proven conclusively proven. I conclusively prove something new every second – I’m literally brimming over with proofs. It seems to be a gift of mine, a special talent, one might say…
Perspicacity is never quite what one wants it to be, wouldn’t you agree? It’s either too much (which is alarming for everyone concerned) or it’s not enough (which is a bore, which is a tiresome waste of time). We’re all alike in this way, I think – we’re as nosy as hell in that we want to hear all the news before anybody else does, and yet at the same time we are wilfully deaf and blind when it comes to anything that actually matters! We’re such extraordinarily self-contradictory creatures, are we not? We are perverse in our ways, acting against ourselves in just about everything we do, and yet at the same time arrogantly claiming to have been made in the image of God, and yet at the same time regarding ourselves as representing the very pinnacle of the evolutionary process. When we band together we are a curse that afflicts the earth in the vilest, most horrible fashion, a curse which reduces everything we come across to share unadulterated nonsense. Viciously pestilential nonsense, in fact. We all know this very well indeed and yet at the same time we pretend that we don’t know anything about it. ‘Is there any hope for us at all?’ I hear you ask. ‘Probably not,’ I feel bound to reply, ‘almost certainly not…’
Image credit – slxxmped, on instagram