“I am the Purposeful Doer,” I stated proudly, “I create purposes and then I go straightahead and I realize them. I enact them, I carry them out. Pow!! Just like that!” I was full to the brim with myself, I was over the moon. “Yippee!” I cried out exuberantly, “watch me do all this cool purposeful stuff. Watch me realize all my great goals…”
I was feeling fine about myself for sure. Never finer, never finer. As I went about my house I sang a little song to myself, a little song about how fine it was to be feeling fine, about what a gas it was to for everything to be a gas, about how great it is when everything is great. That kind of thing. That sort of idea. You know what I mean. “Yes, yes, yes”, I said to myself with satisfaction, “everything is very fine for sure…”
It didn’t last long of course. That kind of thing never does, does it? Before long my mood unaccountably sank like a stone that has been thrown into a deep, dark well and the next thing was that I found myself in some kind of a dismal subterranean cavern, shivering in the sudden chill. There was a smell of decomposition in the air, I realized. Something had obviously died. Some poor wretched unfortunate creature had met its end here, in this dreadfully dank and dismal hole of a place. The thought of this was too much for me and I burst into tears. “Is there any chance of me ever getting out from here at all?” I cried out piteously, “What is to become of me? Can no one save me?”
The answer wasn’t long coming either. It came via a flat dead little voice that spoke out eerily from somewhere in the dim recesses of my deeply melancholic mind.” No,” it said emotionlessly, “no, there isn’t any hope for you. There’s no hope for you at all and so you should just suck it up and quit whining like a fool. The offensive odour you can smell – that’s you. You’re the poor wretched unfortunate creature that met its end here. You’re the one who’s stinking the place up…”
I had somehow managed to manufacture my very own hyperreality, you see. I didn’t know it at the time of course but that’s what had happened. I had inadvertently closed the circle of my thoughts and now my mind had started to feed on itself. It fed and it fed and it fed and the more it devoured itself the hungrier it got. It was on a journey to hell, and it was taking me with it! That’s what always happens in these situations, as you yourself know very well, I’m sure. You’re not a fool after all. You’re not an idiot, despite what people might say. What I’m talking about here can hardly be called unusual, it’s pretty much par for the course – there’s nothing unusual about it at all. The mind loves to devour itself and once it gets going then it simply can’t stop – it has to see it through, it has to continue until the bitter end.
We shouldn’t let stuff like that get us down though, should we? No, no, no – indeed we shouldn’t. It’s best to keep a stiff upper lip under trying circumstances such as these. A quivering lip is no good at all! Loud and piteous lamentations are no good either – where’s that shit going to get you? That’s just dumb. You can wail and lament as much as you like but it’s not going to do you any good. Absolutely it won’t. You’ll just annoy everyone else. You’ll irritate whoever happens to be around. You’re creating bad vibes you see and no one likes that. No one likes the old bad vibes and that’s a fact.
