I was recriminating against myself, giving out stink, giving myself a super-hard time, and all that sort of stuff. “You’re a crappy, useless Creator God and nobody likes you”, I scolded myself, “you’re wicked to the very core and full of ludicrous vanity.”
I knew I couldn’t continue like this much longer, however. I knew I was never going to get anything done just as long as I was divided against myself in this way. A Divided God never conquers, after all. “A Deity who is divided against Himself can never be respected,”I pontificated wisely, “not even by Himself. Especially not by Himself!” Reasoning thus, I decided to take decisive action.
I hadn’t yet decided exactly what that decisive action would be, but whatever it was it would be incredibly, awesomely, supremely decisive. There is no doubt about that! “No sir, I told myself, there’s doubt about that at all…”
Days hasten by, on their way to some important goal. They rush past me, heedless of anything apart from their ultimate destination. The rule is that nothing matters apart from getting to the Super-Important Goal as quickly as possible. The rule is that everything else is crap, that everything else is expendable. The rule is that everything else can be sacrificed for the sake of obtaining the Sacred Goal.
“Hurry on you days,” I cried out gaily, “Hurry on to wherever it is that you’re going!” I waved casually at them as they raced by. I was nonchalant, chilled out, carelessly indifferent to the spectacle – Unphased you might say. Only not really.
I had a vague feeling that something was wrong, that something bad had happened, but at the same time I didn’t know what it was. “Did a bad thing happen?” I asked myself, “is there something suspicious going on that I ought to know about?” I forced a laugh – “Nothing funny going on here,” I said to myself, “everything is fine and dandy and there’s no problem with anything…”
I had created a veneer of false optimism and it was something of a masterpiece – even if I do say it myself! Filled with a sense of unassailable pride, I strutted up and down, as cocky as can be. “You don’t see veneers like that every day”, I told myself, polishing it up a bit here and there with a bit of old rag that I keep in my pocket especially for that purpose. “I’d like to see anyone else come up with a veneer as good as this….”
‘Pride cometh before a fall’, however, as you are now undoubtedly saying to yourself. I’m sure that’s what you’d like to point out to me, if you had the opportunity. You don’t need to however, you don’t need to because I know that already. I’m not stupid, after all, and any advice you may see fit to give me is strictly for your benefit, not mine.
Something very bad had happened to the world, but I hadn’t the faintest clue as to what it might be. Something very ominous indeed had happened and yet the authorities continued to deny it. Which is only to be expected of them, of course – isn’t that what the bloody authorities always do? “Those dirty filthy stinking lousy authorities,” I raged, my face turning blotchy purple with barely repressed emotion. “They’re all Satan Worshippers and Neoliberals!” Deep down, however, I knew that this wasn’t true. Deep down, I knew that ‘the Authorities’ were me…
