When one unreal thing happens (or rather, doesn’t happen) we get petulant, we get annoyed, we get all toxic in ourselves, and then when another unreal thing happens (doesn’t happen) we become ridiculously excited and can’t stop yapping on about it. ‘Yap, Yap, Yap’, we go. ‘Yappity yap, yap, yap, yap…’ I’m just saying, that’s all. I just thought I’d bring it up. I’m not trying to rub anyone up the wrong way – I’m just bringing it to the table so we can discuss it like adults. So we can open up a dialogue, and all that sort of thing. There’s never any harm in opening up at dialogue, is that? Much better than simply trading insults like common gobshites.
It’s always great to catch a glimpse of the Hidden Greatness, isn’t it? Not that we ever do, of course. Not that we ever do. One unreal thing happens and we’re royally pissed off, we run around the place like an antichrist; another unreal or purely imaginary thing happens and we’re over the moon, we’re crowing our heads off, we’re gloating over it for weeks. So what is this saying about us, do you think? What kind of light is this presenting us in? It’s not too hard to see, is it? It’s not as if you have to be a learned professor of philosophy or psychology to work this one out! You wouldn’t exactly need to be a Nobel Prize-winning physicist. By God no – the writing’s on the wall, in big fluorescent letters, for anyone that wants to read it.
We’re all so goddamn precious about ourselves, aren’t we? We make up a whole long list of bullshit unreal things every day and then we get inordinately upset if someone comes along and fails to respect and honour our made-up bullshit as much as we feel they should then we get in a terrible state about it, we lose the cool big time, we lose our shit. And we’ve been doing this for thousands of years – making shit up, saying that stuff is real when it isn’t, pulling stuff out of our arses and then claiming that it is some kind of God-given revelation! “That’s not a God-given revelation”, you’d like to say, “that is just some half-baked nonsense you’re just after pulling out of your stupid arsehole.”
We establish power hierarchies for the express purpose of getting other people to take our lame bullshit seriously. That’s the great advantage of being at the top of the power hierarchy, you see – you get to make up any dumb, lame-ass crap you want and then everyone has to take it seriously! That’s the best feeling you can get, by the way – the good feeling you get when everyone has to take your lame-ass crap seriously and act like you’re so bloody great for thinking of it. “You’re so great!” they’ll say, and they will really mean it. That’s the thing about a power hierarchy you see, people will believe what they’re told to believe. They’ll bend over backwards to believe it, if necessary. They’ll find some way to believe it, I can promise you…
That’s not what they tell you in school, is it? They don’t really paint a very accurate picture of what to expect when you finally get to go out into the world and be part of it all. They don’t tell you about the all-important power hierarchy and how those at the top get to come out with any bullshit they please and how you then have to believe it. And not just pretend to believe it either but really believe it. “Well perhaps they should tell us…” says you. You’re all indignant about it, you’re all riled up. Well maybe you’re right. Maybe they should tell us what to expect in life – it would be a bit more honest of them, that’s for sure. At least that way they would be teaching kids something that’s true. That would be a bloody turn-up for the books, wouldn’t it – the educational system teaching kids something that was actually useful. Wouldn’t that be something! Honesty is always the best policy, after all. It’s always the best policy unless it’s the case that you’re in it up to your eyes…
And the other thing of course is that if you make up some stuff and you’re at the bottom of the power pyramid (which is where most of us are) then you’ll be ignored. Or you could also be arrested and charged for it. And if you start coming out with stuff that really doesn’t tally with the official bullshit then you could be diagnosed with psychosis and taken to see the men in white coats. In the old days of course the priests and the bishops and cardinals were the only ones who were allowed to make up stuff and if anyone refused to believe it (or if they made-up their own stuff) then they could get themselves burnt alive. How dare you believe in not believing our lame bullshit, right? “How bloody dare you? The bloody nerve of you. Burning’s too good for the likes of you…” The shock we feel when someone point-blank refuses to believe the crap that we have just pulled out of our sanctimonious butt-hole. The absolute incomprehensible shock of it.
