Fuelling myself with lies, I continued on my way, ready for whatever might come. What will life bring? I wondered. Not that I cared of course. Not that I cared.
What will life bring today, I asked myself, will it bring sorrow or will it bring joy? Not that it bothered me either way though. I don’t get worried by things like that.
I was in receipt of a brand-new ego – it was glossy, untarnished, gleaming so splendidly that you just had to admire it. I could hardly wait to set sail in it and see what marvellous adventures lay in store for me. ‘Life is good’, I cried out joyously, ‘death to all nonconformists! Let the deviants be cruelly punished…’
I had a dangerous glint in my eyes and a persistent arrogant quiver in my upper lip. I was Lord of All Unclean Things. I was the Master of Monstrosities. I had returned to earth after an absence of untold millennia and my vengeance was going to be terrible – my fists were iron hammers, my teeth shining scimitars protruding at every angle from my mouth.
Every moment was a revelation. ‘At last enlightenment is mine’, I bawled out – ‘no more will ignorant folk dare to make fun of my peculiar ways.’ My trousers were flapping wildly in the wind and my skull had mysteriously elongated itself. It towered above me, disappearing into the clouds. No one knows what I know, I laughed nastily, and no one ever will…
We can all make mistakes of course. No one’s perfect. We all screw up from time to time and I’m no exception. I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and I’m not going to deny it. One example thereof being the False World that I had masterfully conjured up out of nothing at all. Which proved as we all know to be a bit of a disaster, a bit of a flop, a bit of a damp squib. No one liked it and they said I was to blame.
Loudly protesting my innocence, I ran through the streets, pursued by an angry mob. They were intent on catching me and tearing me to pieces with their bare hands. An angry mob will do that, you see. They said I’d done a bad thing.
‘Why does this always have to happen to me?’ I asked, just before the mob caught up with me. ‘Why does it always have to end this way?’ It was my worst nightmare, and it was also real. It was the core reality that I kept coming back to, time and time again.
Some things never change of course and that’s a point we would all do well to remember. Some things never change and that’s only as it should be. That’s the way it has been ordained right from the very beginning. Thus it was ever meant to be. As it is at the beginning so shall it also be at the end. Some things were always meant to be.
My head so easily gets fuddled these days. Or do I mean muddled? So very fuddled, so very muddled. I was born a sad loser but then I achieved greatness. I achieved greatness by being great against all the odds. I made something of myself. Only that was only in my head – I never was great really. I just pretended to myself that I was.
