Resisting Reality

It’s very important to hate the evildoer, as you are all very well aware. The bloody old evildoer. It’s very important to hate the wrongdoer as much as is physically possible. This is only right and proper, as everyone knows. It’s impossible to hate the nefarious instigators of evil enough – we have to hate them and hate them and hate them and hate them and hate them with every bit of our being. We have to close the door of human compassion on them – no punishment is too extreme for them, you see. They deserve everything they get. Whatever pain they endure it’s never going to be enough…


It’s funny the things you remember sometimes, isn’t it? Just now I found myself recollecting – completely out of the blue – how when I was in fourth class at school I wrote an essay entitled ‘Our Dark Masters And How They Never Give Us A Break’. I remember putting an awful lot of effort into that essay – it was extensively referenced and ran to 20,000 words. It wasn’t what the teacher was looking for though; I was sent to the headmasters office and he lectured me at length, telling me that I had to pull my socks up and that I would never get anywhere with an attitude like that. This is a true story by the way – I’m not making it up. This really happened.  That’s just the way things were back then. That was what it was like living in the UK back in the nineteen seventies. My headmaster was unbearably stuffy – he was quite insufferable, in fact – but when you are only a child (I might have been thirteen or fourteen years old at the time)  there’s not much you can do about it. You just have to take all the bullshit that your elders and betters keep sending in your direction. They’re roaring bullshit in your face all day long but what can you do?


Do you know that thing where you’re resisting everything – you’ve fallen into some kind of a dreadful slump and you have resistance to absolutely everything, across the board. You can’t look favourably on anything. It can happen all too easily, as you know – you’re basically negative about reality itself and so you’re resisting it as hard as you possibly can. Resisting, resisting, resisting. Always resisting. Reality seems too disagreeable you see and so you just don’t want to have anything to do with it. All you’ve got is your resistance and so that’s all you know about life – all you know about life is resisting it like an obstinate fool! You don’t see it as dumb ignorant resistance at the time of course – you see it as ‘heroic striving’, you see it as ‘struggling to attain the glorious goals that our society values so much’. You’re fooling yourself you see – your whole life is an indefinitely prolonged exercise in self-deception and it’s only ever going to get worse as time goes on.


I can see that you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve got that knowing look on your face, that amused – if somewhat sardonic – twinkle in your eye. Yep, you know what I’m talking about alright! We’ve all been there, haven’t we? To be sure we have. We all know that thing – that old, old thing where you’re resisting reality like a total and utter fool and you end up making your own bullshit universe out of this resistance which you then get trapped in for the rest of your life. It’s a bastard, isn’t it? It surely is a bastard…



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