The mindset that brings ultimate power, that’s what I am reading about on the internet right now. It’s all in the mindset, obviously – all in the mindset. I climbed up on the stage for my ten minute slot and hastily started telling jokes. I was talking too fast, not waiting to see what the audience’s reaction was. No one seemed to mind however, it was all part of the show and the show was the show. The show could never stop being the show. I was telling the old jokes, the good old jokes that people always used to tell. That people used to tell way back before the internet was invented. ‘Do you know the one, do you know the one…’ I rattled them off as quickly as I could and as a result they came out all slanted and weird – utterly devoid of any actual humour. That was all part of this show, obviously, because the crowd were following every word I said, nodding occasionally to each other to indicate their astute comprehension of whatever subtle point it was that I had supposedly made. ‘Have you heard the one, have you heard the one…’ I barked out frantically, talking faster and faster as the ten minutes allotted to me went by. Did you hear the one. Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman were drinking in a bar, as was their wont, when all of a sudden an argument broke out amongst them as to who was the most famous. ‘Why, I’m so famous that I can’t even walk down the street without someone calling out my name’, says Paddy the Englishman says Paddy the Englishman. ‘That’s nothing, says Paddy the Scotsman, ‘that’s nothing, that’s nothing, that’s nothing. Did you hear the one, did you hear the one….’ Rattling them off good and proper. Rattling them off as fast as I could. The days were were good and packed with value, as I remember. Always packed so full of value. Only I don’t really remember, it’s just a kind of a mantra that I like to repeat to myself when I get stressed. Rattling it off so as to keep all the bad thoughts away. Creating a certain ambience, a certain atmosphere, that everyone can relate to. Everyone normal, at least. Nodding furiously, approving everything that needs approving of, rubber-stamping established moves in the game that had been carried out correctly. ‘Well played Sir,’ say the ghosts in my head, ‘well played that man!’ It’s important to hurry it on, after all. It is of the greatest importance to keep things moving at a brisk pace. It’s of greatest importance to keep things moving as briskly as possible, in fact. No time-wasting allowed. No dawdling permitted. No idling or shirking permitted, or anything like that. Keeping all the bad thoughts at bay. Hurry it up and keep it brisk. That way we’ll get where we’re going all the sooner. The ghosts in my head are nodding solemnly in response, murmuring their muted approval. Well played Sir, well played. The grey ghosts who live in my head are whispering to each other. No one knows what they’re saying – no one can hear them because they’re not real. If I was in charge of the state education system I would straightaway introduce a multiple-choice exam which all pupils would be obliged to sit, a multiple-choice examination on the subject of linear time. For example, the first question could be ‘Just how good is Linear Time? Is it: – [A] very, very good. [B] extremely good. [C] Incredibly good. [D] Unbelievably amazingly colossally good.’ And then another question would be ‘What are the best tricks that we can learn in order for us to get ourselves from one end of Linear Time to the other?’ And there’d be all these possible answers you see, which you can perfectly well imagine for yourself. You don’t need me to be telling you about them, after all!
The mindset that brings ultimate power, that’s what I am reading about on the internet right now. It’s all in the mindset, obviously – all in the mindset. I climbed up on the stage for my ten minute slot and hastily started telling jokes. I was talking too fast, not waiting to see what the audience’s reaction was. No one seemed to mind however, it was all part of the show and the show was the show. The show could never stop being the show. I was telling the old jokes, the good old jokes that people always used to tell. That people used to tell way back before the internet was invented. ‘Do you know the one, do you know the one…’ I rattled them off as quickly as I could and as a result they came out all slanted and weird – utterly devoid of any actual humour. That was all part of this show, obviously, because the crowd were following every word I said, nodding occasionally to each other to indicate their astute comprehension of whatever subtle point it was that I had supposedly made. ‘Have you heard the one, have you heard the one…’ I barked out frantically, talking faster and faster as the ten minutes allotted to me went by. Did you hear the one. Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman were drinking in a bar, as was their wont, when all of a sudden an argument broke out amongst them as to who was the most famous. ‘Why, I’m so famous that I can’t even walk down the street without someone calling out my name’, says Paddy the Englishman says Paddy the Englishman. ‘That’s nothing, says Paddy the Scotsman, ‘that’s nothing, that’s nothing, that’s nothing. Did you hear the one, did you hear the one….’ Rattling them off good and proper. Rattling them off as fast as I could. The days were were good and packed with value, as I remember. Always packed so full of value. Only I don’t really remember, it’s just a kind of a mantra that I like to repeat to myself when I get stressed. Rattling it off so as to keep all the bad thoughts away. Creating a certain ambience, a certain atmosphere, that everyone can relate to. Everyone normal, at least. Nodding furiously, approving everything that needs approving of, rubber-stamping established moves in the game that had been carried out correctly. ‘Well played Sir,’ say the ghosts in my head, ‘well played that man!’ It’s important to hurry it on, after all. It is of the greatest importance to keep things moving at a brisk pace. It’s of greatest importance to keep things moving as briskly as possible, in fact. No time-wasting allowed. No dawdling permitted. No idling or shirking permitted, or anything like that. Keeping all the bad thoughts at bay. Hurry it up and keep it brisk. That way we’ll get where we’re going all the sooner. The ghosts in my head are nodding solemnly in response, murmuring their muted approval. Well played Sir, well played. The grey ghosts who live in my head are whispering to each other. No one knows what they’re saying – no one can hear them because they’re not real. If I was in charge of the state education system I would straightaway introduce a multiple-choice exam which all pupils would be obliged to sit, a multiple-choice examination on the subject of linear time. For example, the first question could be ‘Just how good is Linear Time? Is it: – [A] very, very good. [B] extremely good. [C] Incredibly good. [D] Unbelievably amazingly colossally good.’ And then another question would be ‘What are the best tricks that we can learn in order for us to get ourselves from one end of Linear Time to the other?’ And there’d be all these possible answers you see, which you can perfectly well imagine for yourself. You don’t need me to be telling you about them, after all!