Botox Beauties

I was in denial of the greatness of existence. ‘Everything is crap’, I said, ‘everything is rubbish’. I’d made my mind up about that and nothing was going to make me reconsider. ‘Existence is a pile of shyte’, I said, ‘it’s total load of bollocks…’

 

There had been complaints about reality, you see. Lawsuits were pending. They said it wasn’t safe, they said that it hadn’t been properly researched. A lot of people were becoming concerned that the implications hadn’t been fully worked out. It had probably been a bit of a rush job, in other words. Possibly the whole thing was a terrible mistake, a very bad mistake indeed. Under current regulations it would never have been allowed.

 

Things had been different, back in the dawn of time, as we all know. You’re talking cowboy country back then you see – anything went! There had been no policies or procedures in those days, hard as that might be for us to grasp. Policies had not yet been set out, procedures had yet to be formulated. Things must have been very different indeed back then, now that I come to think of it. It’s hard to imagine my friends – hard to imagine. Some say it had been a bad idea, you see. Some say it should never have been allowed.

 

If you do something quickly enough, deftly enough, confidently enough, then the right results can happen. Good results, wonderful results, spectacular results. Life-transforming results. Only not really, of course. That’s one sight no one likes to be greeted with first thing in the morning, is it? That fluorescent grinning skull-face. Boy oh boy that’s one thing none of us want to see as soon as we open our eyes. Or before, even. Particularly before. You can’t help knowing that it’s bad news.

 

Back in the dawn of time, back in the dawn of time, before rules and regulations  were invented. I’ve been a complete idiot my whole life you see; I’ve been a complete idiot my whole life and I never knew it. I never had a clue – ignorance is bliss, as they say. What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Or can it? But it came to nothing, it got me nowhere. It all blew up in my face, in fact. It blew up very nastily, very nasty indeed. ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ I asked, ‘how was I to have known?’ And the answer is that I wasn’t to have known. No one ever bothered tell told me. They just let me make a fool of myself….

 

Life has a way of mocking our efforts, doesn’t it? Life has a way of laughing in our face, wouldn’t you agree? I know that there are people who say the universe will support you, and help you realize your dreams, and so on and so forth. They say you’ll be able to attract wealth and good fortune and happiness and all that kind of stuff, but I honestly don’t know what universe they’re talking about. It isn’t this one, at any rate! No Sir, it’s certainly not this one. They are probably in denial of the truth, if you ask me. You know that old ‘denial’ business: folk run around wittering on and on about all that new age crap, about how it’s so important to keep positive all the time and keep coming out with all these affirmations and inspirational quotes to make you feel better, etc, etc, but the plain and simple fact of the matter is that all of that just makes life laugh in your face all the more. I know it hurts to hear this, but there you are…

 

 

 

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