It is possible to reach the state of infinite banality, always possible to reach the state of infinite banality. It can be done without any great difficulty and without any particular harm being done to the general environment. The universe doesn’t care whether we want to attain to the state of infinite banana tea, in other words – that’s up to us, that’s our own business. It’s quite painless too, I have been reliably informed. One can quite happily reach this extraordinary state without knowing anything about it! And how many of us – we might wonder – do just this? How many of us succeed, on a daily business, in doing just this? More than you’d think, I’d warrant…

I’m stuck in linear time again, that’s what I want to confess. I knew I wanted to confess something, and after a moment or two of soul-searching it came to me. My guilty secret. My shameful vice. I didn’t see it happening, of course. No one ever sees it happening, one minute you’re free and the next you’re just another little maggot crawling your way to the next unreal goal. ‘Jolly good show’, we call out as we march ever onwards on our delightful quest, the silver buckles on our brown shoes glinting and gleaming in the frighteningly intense light that radiates down from above. ‘The unreal goal is going to make everything okay!’ we chant. Such is our over-simplistic creed, and happy are we to have it. Happy are we to adhere glutinously to this simplistic creed. ‘The unreal goal is going to make everything OK!’ we say as we march ever onwards towards our heroic but nevertheless banal destiny. No wonder we’re all in such good cheer, despite the horrors that we have had to endure. Life is good and no one but a fool will deny it.

No one but a fool, no one but a bloody fool. I’m raging now, fed up with all the bullshit I have had to contend with over the years. Over the long, long years. ‘Why did I have to put up with all of that nonsense?’ I ask out loud, ‘is this someone’s idea of a joke?’ Mouldering and smouldering, mouldering and smouldering… Is it too much to expect to have something to expect? Is it too much to hope to have something to hope for? Too much to ask for that we should have something actually to ask for? Will they even deny us that? I had attained to the summit, the summit of infinite banality. My whole life was a joke. I could not celebrate my accomplishment however because I didn’t know that I had accomplished it. Whilst I was still on the long, long approach to perfection I had a sense of progress, a sense of purpose, and that was all to the good. My life had more in the way of flavour in those days. There was a trace at least of zest in my activities. A trace of actual zestiness.

I was seeking perfection, same as so many of us. On route for perfection, bound for perfection. Learning about it in online seminars. The same as us all, nothing different there. And then the next thing is that I became the Supreme Galactic Clown Being, only I never realised it. I never knew it. I still don’t know it – I think I’m being very significant in what I am saying but everyone bursts out laughing. Some of them throw things at me, one or two even try to get in a sneaky kick. They label me, they judge me. They deny me the kudos I know I deserve. That rich, rich kudos. I imagine it in terms of slices of an incredibly rich chocolate cake. Slice after slice after slice. As many slices as you like. At other times I imagine kudos to be like a big pot of the most superb broth, a fine clear table broth that has been boiled out of bones which is both piquant in flavour and yet at the same time distinctly plain.