Glee when the good thing happens, anger and despair when it doesn’t. First the anger, raucous and indignant, and then the despair, the never-ending bottomless despair. That’s the human situation a nutshell, isn’t it? That’s what it’s all about – first the stupid pointless excitement when the good thing happens, and then the equally stupid fury. And finally – the ridiculously over-dramatic despair. That’s the script for being a human being, that’s the program we’ve all signed up to. ‘Get with the program buddy boy’, your offensively inane little mind yaps at you, in its characteristically smug and condescending tones, ‘get with the goddamn program you loser…’
My intolerably inane mind – how I hate it! Why can’t it just shut up? My mind is a barking dog, barking its damn head off day and night. Barking it’s bloody head off no matter what the weather. I throw things at it from time to time but that only makes it bark all the more. The barking dog, the barking dog. Barking in the morning, barking in the night. Barking 24/7. Seasons come and go but my bocking mind remains a constant. One of life’s great constants. It’s one of the Great Cosmological Constants, which means sod all point in complaining about it. As everyone knows, you can complain about the cosmological constants till the cows come home and it won’t make any difference. This isn’t right, that isn’t right, I don’t like this, I don’t like that, and so on and so forth – but it never makes a blind bit of difference does it? That’s the point. No one’s listening to your ceaseless complaining and no one gives a damn.
If you think anyone gives a damn then then that just shows how stupid you are. I’m sorry to be so blunt but there you are. Sometimes you just have to come right out with it, sometimes you just have to be straight with people. Say it as it is. Put it out there. It’s for the best in the long run. If you think that someone gives a damn this only goes to show that you haven’t spent much time in your life actually thinking about things. It’s a vast impersonal universe we live in – it’s a very vast, very impersonal universe and so what are we to make of that? How are we to play that one?
How I hate my loathsomely stupid mind! It never stops yapping for a moment. It never stops yapping and I never stop listening to it. It’s all I ever do. This is one of life’s Great Compulsions after all – the compulsion to believe in one’s own stupid mind no matter what the consequences. Speak or do as you will, speak freely or not so freely, do as you please or don’t do as you please or whatever but just make sure that you obey the compulsion every step of the way. Never Stop Obeying The Sacred Compulsion. That’s a good title for a story, I’d say – ‘Never stop obeying the compulsion’. Says it all really – says everything that needs to be said. Just keep on obeying the compulsion and everything will be fine. Not that we have any choice anyway. We have no choice but to keep on obeying the sacred compulsion, which is the compulsion to defile reality with our ridiculously dumb thoughts. The urge to defile reality lies behind everything really, doesn’t it? The jolly old urge to defile…
That’s a good one isn’t it, that’s definitely a good one. Sometimes things seem to be one way and sometimes they seem to be another, totally different, way and that’s just the way it is. Whichever way it is is just the way it is and what more could you possibly say about it than this? Or maybe things aren’t the way that they are, maybe that’s the way it is. Maybe that’s it too.
