There is a point beyond which dumbness turns into an actual tangible substance. People don’t generally realise this. People don’t generally realise very much, if you ask me. They don’t comprehend their own extraordinary dumbness. They can’t comprehend it; they can’t ever comprehend it, but what else would you expect? When you get to be dumb (dumb past a certain specific point, that is) then you just can’t see that your dumbness has alchemically transformed into an actual tangible substance. You are the substance in this case; you are the substance and the substance can’t know itself. The substance can’t actually know anything, actually. This is some amazing substance, therefore. There is a point beyond which my friends and that’s the message I have for you today. Talking about the substance, talking about the substance. It’s everywhere you look of course. It has become the whole world.

I was floundering around in the slippery slopey morass of my own projections. I was floundering all over the place like a right fool, and then all of a sudden it was over and that was another life down the drain. I’d fumbled the ball. ‘Feck that’, says I, ‘another one got away from me’. That’s the way it is though. That’s just the way it is and I challenge anyone to come up to me and say otherwise. You might want to say that this isn’t the way things are and that is your right to say that. You have the right to delude yourself, as do we all. You have that sacred right and no one may take it away from you. Right from the very beginning – the beginning that was no beginning – the ability to delude yourself was given to you that you might use it as you see fit. It was given to you for your very own.

I had the idea of writing an autobiography. I’m sure there are lessons there to be learned for everyone. Who knows, it might even become a best seller. It’ll be in all the bookshops and I will get interviews on daytime TV, the way you do. It would be very validating for me. I would start the book boldly, getting straight into the thick of it, grabbing the reader’s attention right from the start. That’s the trick to writing, you see. To start with a startlingly dramatic – and yet at the same time intriguing – statement and carry on from there. The first line will be the key, but I haven’t thought of it yet. It hasn’t come to me yet but I’m sure it will. It’s out there somewhere.

I deluded myself right from the very beginning of course just like everyone else, just like every other dumb fecker. I was hungry for delusions, the same as we all are, the same as we all are, and that’s an appetite that isn’t easily satiated. Well, that’s a euphemism really isn’t it – this is a longing that we don’t ever get to satiate, not ever, ever, ever, ever. It’s only ever going to get worse, as any one of us poor old bloody addicts can testify. If you think it’s bad now then just you wait till you see what’s coming next! Then you’ll know bad! Then you will know what ‘bad’ means… I don’t claim to have led an exemplary life or anything like that of course – far from it. I don’t even claim to have known what I was doing. It was all just feverish blind mechanical reacting. I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing. It was just over one big mess as I have already intimated. It was all just one big mess. I was floundering around like a bastard in the filthy morass of my own projections and that was my life – one day doing better in my struggle, the next day doing worse. You win some and you lose some, but even when you win some it still doesn’t mean shit.