Do you know that thing where you lie an awful lot and your lies (of course) have the habit of multiplying wildly and then the next thing that happens is that you notice one day that you lie all the time and then the next thing after that is that you realize that you’re actually starting to believe every single lie you tell the second you tell it. What this means is that at this point your lies are actually turning into reality. They’re turning into reality and so anything you want to be true straightaway can be true. Can be true and will be true. You have now become an adept of a particular type of alchemy – that very particular type of alchemy where you have mastered the arcane art of turning base lies into pure immaculate unquestionable truth. It’s an old, old story of course and that kind of thing comes as no surprise to anyone. We’ve seen it all before. You’re probably yawning already – ‘Oh no, not that old one again,’ you’re probably saying to yourself. But wait, this is a good one, it really is – it just starts off in a boring kind of way. Wait until you get to the real meat of this one – you’ll love it! Once you get into the pure, juicy sweet intoxicating meat of it you won’t look back, trust me. The delicious flesh of it, you might say, the rich succulent tasty fragrant flesh of it. The smell of it would be enough to drive you wild, wafting over to you seductively across the heavily-laden dinner table, beckoning you to come over and take a closer look. And maybe more than just a look too; definitely more than just a look. Your tongue has taken on a life of its own at this stage – darting here and there, tasting the air, sampling the tell-tale molecules. Your pointy pink pretty little tongue, dripping with saliva as it is, is anticipating the feast that is to come. Oh yes, you’re not going to regret this one, I can promise you that! Definitely you won’t. The art of telling base lies into pure immaculate officially verifiable truth – that’s what we are all after really isn’t it? That’s the trick we’re all trying to pull off for sure. How happy would we be then! Can you imagine just how happy we would be then, how delighted? We’d be hopping and skipping over the place, beside ourselves with glee. Cutting a caper, doing a little jig on the carpet – dancing the fandango, as they say. What could taste sweeter than this, after all? We’d be hopping and skipping and dancing all over the shop. Dancing our little dance. Capering here and capering there like Satan’s imps celebrating the joy of evil. That could be a book couldn’t it – The Joy of Evil, with lots of colour illustrations of course. Capering for all we’re worth. Satan’s imps have nothing on us!