The freedom of the self, isn’t that what we call it? That’s the freedom we’re granted and so we might as well make the most of it. Take of it as you please – the freedom to do whatever you want, to like and dislike, to have it this way and have it that way. To have and yet not to have at the same time, The freedom to yearn and to pine, to grumble and complain. You might as well make the most of it – that’s what you’ve been given and that’s all you are going to be given. That’s what’s on the menu today, folks… It’s the way you like it and the way you don’t like it, it’s having it this way and having it that way. The glorious freedom of the self. Isn’t that what we call it? That most splendid of all things, the fair fruit of our civilisation. It comes in a handy kit – assemble it yourself in the comfort of your own living room! Develop your own unique style. Develop your very own personality. Don’t be shy – help yourself to a great big slice of it! Stuff your face… Cram it in there. How much can you fit in? Open a bit wider there – you can do better than that! You’ve got a fine big mouth, after all. You could fit the whole damn pie in there if you wanted. You can fit anything you want in there. It’s the freedom to agree and the freedom to disagree. All of this is given to you – all this and nothing else. Certainly nothing else. But what else would you want anyway? What else would you want apart from the glory of the self? The Best of all Possible Selves. A story all of your own… A unique and highly prestigious product that is guaranteed to satisfy every time. Almost every time. Enjoy it while you can because it’s not going to end well. It never does, does it? It never does. The freedom to have it this way and to have it that way, the freedom to pick and to choose. That’s what it’s all about of course. That is what it’s all about. That’s what makes you the person you are. That most splendid of all things, the Glorious Fruit of our Spectacular Civilisation. Enjoy it if you can because who knows when it may turn sour. It could actually turn sour at any moment! Isn’t that what the freedom of the self is all about? Enjoy it if you can because – who knows – the day may come when it lets you down in a big way! Have fun. Isn’t that what we’re all trying to do? As per the manufacturer’s instructions. We’re all trying to make a go of it – that most splendid fruit of our glorious civilisation has got to be worth something. Three billion satisfied customers can’t be wrong! Because you’re worth it, isn’t that the ads say? You’re allowed to have as much of it as you please, and it is guaranteed non-toxic. Safe when used according to the manufacturer’s instructions. The freedom to crave and to yearn, to hope and to despair, to hop and to skip, to whimper and whine. The Unexcelled Freedom to be Your Own Unique Self. Safe when used according to recommended guidelines.