‘‘Lovely memes, in my head, making me feel so great,’ I sang. I was singing my favourite song, singing my heart out, singing at the top of my voice. I was on a sacred mission but I didn’t know what it was. I was bumbling along haphazardly like a complete fool talking utter shyte and making a laughing stock of myself far and wide. I was in a sacred mission but I didn’t know it. I was a tool of the bad memes and they were making me do lots and lots of abominable things. And yet the strange thing was that I felt so good! I had never felt so good in the whole of my life – not that that is saying very much, I suppose. ‘We will give you everything you need so that you can become a top gobshyte,’ say the meme hordes as they throng my poor tired synapses. ‘Tired of being a loser-type gobshyte?’ the commercial memes asked me, ‘then sign up right now with our specially-developed programme and become a winner-type gobshyte instead.’ ‘I am the Androgyne’ I say, determined not to be swayed from my purpose. I am the original Man/Woman.’ ‘When you make the man into the woman and the woman into the man then you will enter the Kingdom of Heaven,’ says Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas. Only the Church Elders didn’t like that very much, did they? You can be sure they didn’t. ‘When you make the above into the below and below into the above then this is the Miracle of the One Thing.’ Only that isn’t the right translation of course. It’s the best I can do off the top of my head. ‘When you make the two one and make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the upper as the lower then you will enter the Kingdom’, says Jesus. It’s in the Scriptures that only when we become as small children can we enter into the Kingdom, but this too is a reference to the Androgyne. It’s the recombination of Adam and Eve. What the Lord has torn asunder let no one put back together again. We live in bad times however – the Great Delirium has set in and it is approaching its final stages. The Meme Hordes have been released and have laid waste to the land. Their joy is our misery, only they tell us we’re having a great time. They rattle around in your head causing you to spew forth toxic nonsense. You catch sight of yourself in the bathroom mirror, wild-eyed and ranting. You’re a tool of the bad memes and they’re causing you to be a fountain of corruption, a mouthpiece for a million inanities. You’ve never been as stupid and as utterly lacking in dignity as you are today. It’s a milestone. ‘Praise be to the Meme Lords’, you cry out drunkenly, like the fool you are, giving way to the corruption that is within you.