Inside I Was Quaking

‘Sure there’s no one here but me and my ego,’ I quipped, as quick as a flash. As quick as any flash that ever was. I’m famous for my quipping. I’m famous for a lot else besides. A lot else besides. I’m famous for a lot of things that I don’t feel too good about when it comes to it but life isn’t all about feeling good about things, is it? If only it were, I hear you say, but that wouldn’t work either. That wouldn’t work either. ‘Sure there’s no one here but me and my egos’ I laughed, trying to laugh it off. No one here, no one here. Reality had me beat and that’s a fact – I got that out of my book of facts! Reality had me beat and that was something no one could deny. I denied it every day but then again, I was a big liar. I’m famous for being a big liar. I’m famous for being a big liar but then again, no one has ever heard of me. My lies were catching up with me; they were rolling up on the horizon like a vast bank of cumulonimbus clouds. Building ominously, building ominously. Soon there would be nowhere else to run. ‘I never meant to lie,’ I lied. I never meant to lie. They were looking for me but I was playing dumb. I’m famous for playing dumb. I was on a talk show on TV. ‘It’s no good talking to him,’ they said, ‘he’s playing dumb.’ ‘There’s no one here but me and my egos,’ I quipped, tried to laugh it off. My egos are arguing amongst themselves as they always do. It annoys me that they are so petty – they’d argue about anything, they really would. They came to interrogate me but I was too sly for them. I’m as sly as the day is long. I have a hundred eyes and each one of them is winking, as if to say ‘you won’t catch me out that easily lads.’ Lies were dripping off me like some sort of fragrant oil. They were making an ungodly stain on the carpet. ‘You won’t catch me, you won’t catch me’ I said to myself. If you think you’ll catch me that easily then you’ve got another think coming. I’m as slippery as an eel, an eel with hundred eyes and each one of them is winking away furiously. That’s my natural defence mechanism. That’s how I terrify the predators. ‘I’m the skipper, I’m the skipper,’ I said. I’m the skipper and my name is Neil. My name is Neil. The predators are out hunting for me course but I’m determined to beat them. I’m too sly for them. I’m too sly for myself. ‘If you think you can catch me that easily then you have got another think coming’, I call out bravely. Inside though, I was shaking. Inside though, I was quaking…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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