Joe Ego Here

Alright guys. How are you doing? This is the story of my life, right? I am an ego and I want to be great. No point beating about the bush, right? No point in being shy or embarrassed or anything like that, right? I’m an ego and I want to be great. Say it like it is, yeah? Say it like it is good buddy and you won’t go too far wrong. No sir you won’t – just trust me when I say that. I’m saying the good stuff here, not saying the shit stuff. Too many people around saying the shit stuff, don’t you agree with me on that? Too many people mouthing off shit stuff all day long because that’s what they do. That’s surely what they do so don’t let’s make any mistake about that. Too many people, too many people. Saying this shit stuff all day long. Story of my life, the story of my life. An ego’s tale, you might say. The story of an ordinary everyday ego and let’s face it – did you meet an ego that wasn’t ordinary and everyday? Did you ever meet an ego that didn’t bore the arse of you? No you didn’t because that’s never going to happen. Other people have real names but not me. Egos like to have names because that gives them the feeling that they aren’t egos – no ego wants to feel that it’s just an ego, right? No one wants to feel that because that’s just not cool, so instead every self-respecting ego you meet is going to have a name, a name like James or Joe or Geraldine. Hi there you guys, Joe the ego here. How often you hear that? Not so often right? Not so often at all. Joe the ego here folks, how are you doing? Joe Ego here guys just checking in with you. How’s your day going, huh? A day in the life of an ego, a day in the life of an ego. Every day is the same day when you’re an ego, right? Every day is a day for trying to be great. You’ve gotta set the bar high where you’re an ego, you’ve gotta go for greatness. That’s what it’s all about – that’s really what it’s all about. It surely isn’t about anything else, that’s for sure. No sir it’s not about anything else. No sir, no sir, no sir. There’s never any question on the mind of an ego except ‘How can I be great?’ How can I be great? That’s the question of the hour, the question we egos ask ourselves every single day. Every day without fail. I can tell you one thing for sure and that’s that nothing ever matters to an ego other than being great. Nothing, nothing, nothing. The rest of it really doesn’t matter and you can take that from me. Straight out of the horse’s mouth and it doesn’t get any straighter than that. No sir doesn’t. Tell it like it is, that’s my motto. Tell the truth and shame the devil. No need to feel bad about it, right? Every day is the same – I go around straining to be great and then the next day I do the same thing all over again. Yes sir I do. No rest for the wicked, huh? How are you doing folks, Joe Ego here. Joe Ego here. Joe Ego here. Story of my life, story of my life. Yearning for greatness, yearning for greatness. Yearning, yearning, yearning. Doing all the great stuff in order to be great. It doesn’t come easy you know. Sometimes it doesn’t come at all. Well, most days it doesn’t. I don’t know when it does come to be honest but that doesn’t mean you can ever give up straining for it, does it? Can’t lie down on the job. Can’t take a day off. Doing all the great staff and talking about the great stuff and when you run out of great stuff to be talking about then you know you’re having a sad day. Having a sad, sad day. That’s the day it all comes back at you like egg on your face or shit on your shoe. Oh dear  – you’ve got shit on your shoe and you’ve been walking it all around the house. You didn’t realise because you were too busy trying to be great. Then you start to smell it. You start to smell that bad old shit. That’s what you call a ‘shit on your shoe’ day. That’ll bring you back down to earth in a hurry. A bad day and a sad day. Shit everywhere. Shit all over the shop. You never saw so much of it. You can’t believe there could be so much shit. ‘All I wanted was to be great’, you whimper pathetically. Sad loser that you are. No one wants to talk to you because of all the shit you put everywhere. The smell of shit clings to you and you can’t get rid of it. That old shit smell, that old smell of shit. No one wants to know you then, right? They avoid you like the plague. You’re not exactly ‘flavour of the month’. Joe Ego here folks – Joe Ego. Every day is the same day, right? Every day is the same day but you just have to keep trying. Story of my life. Story of my life. No one wants to be an ego, right? No one wants that. No one wants to be the generic self…







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