Preaching To The Unenlightened

The lies which I have chosen to believe tell me that I am right. The lies which I have chosen to believe always tell me that I am right. Let no one demean the preciousness of the sacred lies therefore – let no one demean the sacredness of our most precious lies.


‘Let no one demean, let no one demean,’ I cry out in a voice of thunder. I am preaching to the unenlightened you see. I’m preaching to the bloody old unenlightened! But do you think they ever listen? That’s a rhetorical question of course – the bloody old unenlightened never listen. You’ll never get anywhere with the bloody old unenlightened because – at the end of the day – they just don’t give a shit. They couldn’t care less! The very simple fact of the matter is that the bloody old unenlightened have no interest whatsoever in hearing the truth and that is precisely what makes them unenlightened! It’s a vicious circle you see…


The bloody old unenlightened and their perennial love of ludicrously inane bullshit, huh? Sometimes I wonder what in God’s name I’m doing preaching to them. What does that say about me after all? It annoys me when I think about how unenlightened people don’t care about the truth and how they couldn’t care less about it in fact even though they’ll tell you that they do on and they’ll huff and they’ll puff and blow themselves up like bullfrogs if you were ever to say this to them. They will be full of indignation and outrage that you would dare to say such a thing to them. They don’t want to hear someone tell them that they don’t want to hear the truth because that is the truth! That’s the truth and the truth is that they don’t want to hear the truth. That’s a vicious circle too you see – no matter where you look there are vicious circles lying in wait. You can’t break into them and you can’t break out and that’s the end of the matter. There’s no more to be said after this. In the end the whole universe will be subsumed within vicious circles and men and women will say that this is good – thus I have prophesied.


The lies which I have chosen to believe tell me that I am right to believe so steadfastly in the way that I do believe and I am full to the brim with self-satisfaction and self-righteousness on this account. The sacred lies have validated my every move and will continue to do so into the indefinite future. I cannot even let loose a fart without it being instantly and incontrovertibly validated by the sacred lies. The meanest and most underhand of my farts become glorified, as are the incorrigibly dumbass comments that I keep coming out with. It doesn’t matter how dumb my jackass comments are – they are all validated. This then allows the most precious of all gifts to be bestowed upon me; the most precious of all gifts is that is that no matter how dumb my jackass ‘off-the-cuff’ comments are they still won’t be dumb. They can’t ever be dumb. No matter what I say it can’t be dumb. I am wrapped in glory no matter how many times I put my big stupid foot in it. Was there ever a greater gift than this?


I sometimes get this nasty kind of feeling as I go about my business preaching to the unenlightened; I get this nasty kind of feeling that all the unenlightened people that I have been preaching to are actually super-enlightened and are only pretending to be unenlightened in order to make a fool of me. It’s kind of a trick they’re playing you see. It’s a ludicrous notion I know; it’s totally ludicrous, but somehow I just can’t seem to shake it off! Crazy thoughts, crazy thoughts, my friends. Those with unusually great minds are often troubled by crazy thoughts, so I believe…









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