Another Day, Another Lie

They were guilty of committing the same sin as me and that’s why I hated them so much. I had no time for them, no regards for them. Their fate held no interest to me – there was nothing that could happen to them that they did not richly deserve, in my view. Not that it really was my view of course. It was just another of my lies that had gotten out of control another line, another falsehood. Another lie, another day…

 

If we survive to lie another day, will you feel sorry for us? Do you have compassion where I do not? I can see now that perhaps you do; I can see that it is me who is the hideous freak for feeling no compassion towards those whose only crime is that they have made the same mistake that I myself already have done. Seeing this about myself doesn’t help me any however, it only makes me despise myself all the more. Whatever fate holds in store for me, it is only my just desserts. I know that for a fact. However wretched my fate, it will be no more than I deserve.

 

Live to lie another day. I lied once and so I will lie again. And again. Why spoil a good thing, after all? Why disrupt the habit of a lifetime? Why turn your back on a perfectly serviceable lie when the truth is so very inconvenient? ‘I lied once so I will lie again’ has become my motto. Everyone needs a motto. I’ve started so I’ll finish. I lied once and so I will spend the rest of my wretched life protecting that lie and building upon it, looking on in horror as it falls to pieces all around me, hanging on pathetically onto it until the very last moment. Until the very last moment, mind you. Until the very last moment. The very last. It’s all against my will, all of it. Everything apart from the lie is against my will.

 

We live to lie another day but sometimes it’s not as easy as that. Sometimes things can turn against you and when that happens you’re swimming against the tide. When that happens you’re fighting a losing battle and there’s nothing as bitter as fighting a losing battle, is there? Nothing so bitter, nothing so bitter. Sometimes the old lie doesn’t work out quite so well. Your will is pointing in one direction and the world is moving quite contrary to this! The world is moving in the opposite direction to your will. When this happens you will become synonymous with the lie; the whole of everything is now working in opposition against your will, which is the life. Reality is working against your will and your being dragged, kicking and screaming, to a place where you really don’t want to be…

 

So that’s a very unpleasant scenario for you; that’s a very unpleasant scenario and it can happen all too easily. It can happen at the drop of a hat and there is no protection against that. There are no safeguards that you can take! The unpalatable truth is however that the situation is a good deal last nastier than it might at first appear. There’s a twist in it. The twist is that your ‘will’ isn’t really your will at all. It’s just one of your lies that has got the better of you and is now controlling your life. It’s a demon that you invited into your home and now it’s ruling the roost! You couldn’t throw it out now even if you wanted to, but you don’t. You don’t want to throw it out because you now suffering from a bad case of demonic possession. A very bad case. It’s not your will but the demon’s will you’re obeying and it’s taking you to your doom. Express route, no stops allowed. To call this an ‘ignominious situation’ is the mother of all understatements – you’ve been well and truly hoisted by your own petard. You’ve been judged by your own standards and you’ve been found as guilty as hell…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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