Buddha Palm

I had been practising the Buddha Palm technique for many years and so now I wanted to test my Wushu in a real-life situation. I knew I was good, but how good? That was the big question. How good, how good, how good? How good is your Wushu? How good is your Wushu? Very soon now I was to find out…

 

‘Everything changes and nothing stays the same,’ I told myself. ‘Everything changes are nothing stays the same.’ As soon as I said this I felt an immense sadness rising up within me. ‘Where did the sadness come from?’ I asked myself, ‘if everything changes then what is there to be sad about? What is there to lose if nothing remains the same?’ My thoughts didn’t help though – the sadness was bigger than the thoughts were.

 

Telepathic beings are real, you know. Why wouldn’t they be, for God sake? Why wouldn’t they be? If you were just to look at the type of people who don’t believe in telepathy, the type of people who scoff from a position of superiority the moment you mention it, then that is argument enough, wouldn’t you say? That surely is argument enough. That surely says it all. Just look at those guys! All those guys in suits saying that telepathy isn’t real. That sounds like a snappy caption for a photograph – “Guys in suits say that telepathy isn’t real.” Well if they’re wearing suits then I’m really going to have to take that on board, aren’t I? We all know that guys in suits can’t be wrong don’t we? That’s what the bloody suit means in the first place – it means that they can’t ever be wrong! It’s a way of telling you, so you will trust them…

 

Could men in suits be telepathic beings? Or could telepathic beings perhaps be men in suits, I wondered. Which could it be? Which might it be? ‘It could definitely be something,’ I said to myself. there was no doubt that it definitely could be something. The possibility that a possibility could possibly be possible loomed large in my mind. It definitely could be that. It definitely really could be. ‘Gravy and me don’t agree,’ said the elderly lady sitting at the table next to mine in the restaurant. She spoke in a tart fashion and sent the waiter packing.

 

I had an appointment with reality, I realised, and I didn’t want to be late. I didn’t want to be late but reality didn’t care. Reality itself didn’t care if I was late; it didn’t care if I was early either! It occurred to me that I had lots and lots of thoughts about reality whereas reality had no thoughts whatsoever about me. Reality never had any thoughts about me. ‘What was this telling me?’ I wondered. ‘Was it telling me that whilst I had a problem with reality, reality didn’t have a problem with me?’ And what in turn was that telling me?’ I asked myself. ‘Was telling me that I didn’t really exist?’

 

I have been practising the Buddha Palm technique for many years now but my opponents still always beat me. They beat me every time. I get bested at every contest. I was a poor student – one of the very poorest. I could never rise above the basic level. I had missed my date with reality – reality had gone on its path whilst I had gone on mine. Reality had happily gone its way, and I mine…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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