The Primary Delusion

We all adapt ourselves to whatever small social worlds we find ourselves in, don’t we? This is a true observation of mine, I realise. As opposed to an untrue observation. This is undoubtedly a true observation – some of the petty worlds we are obliged to adapt ourselves to are hell realms, some are worlds of unendurable torment. Some are sterile mechanical environments that erode our being bit by bit. Bit by bit, bit by bit. Every day a little bit more ‘being’ is lost, a little bit more ‘being’ is taken away. Like in the David Bowie song. They always take it away you know – you can rely on them to take it away! Society is a patient machine, is it not? It’ll take away your being spoonful by spoonful, every single day of your life. What else are friends for anyway, if not for taking your being away? Isn’t that the whole point? Of course, society can also be very impatient at times too – I know that. You don’t need to tell me that. It’s like when you’re a bit slow to pull away at the lights and the car behind you is honking at you with their horn, not giving you a break even for a second. They’re on your case straightaway. Everyone’s got road rage these days, haven’t they? They’re in a hurry to get to where they are going, which is nowhere. They’re in a terrible hurry to get on with their lives, even though their lives are frighteningly meaningless! That’s how it works of course – the more meaningless your life is the more impatient you are to get on with it. It’s a laugh, isn’t it? You really have got to try to see the funny side of it. The more sterile and vacuous your life is the more of a goddamn hurry you are to get from A to B! What the hell are you going to do when you get there anyway? You’re still going to be the same old hopelessly dumb arsehole you  were when you were still at position A! That is the one thing that is never going to change, right? That’s a Universal Constant such as π or e or Planck’s Interval. Some things you just can’t rush and Planck’s Interval is one of them. That’s the whole thing though, isn’t it? In some dim recess of our mind we have this ridiculous unexamined notion that when we get from A to B then we’re no longer going to be the same dumb asshole that we always have been! I call this the ‘Primary Delusion’! Something magical is going to happen to us so that we will no longer be that offensively stupid dumb piece of shit that we always, always have been– all we have to do is to get from A to B. All we have to do is get from A to B without some dumb bastard getting on our way. The way some dumb bastard always will do. That’s why you’re going to get so very angry if someone does impede your rightful progress and stop you getting from point A to point B in the way that you want to. They’re not just obstructing you, they’re preventing you from transforming from being a dumbass. When it’s obviously so very crucial that you do get transformed from being a dumbass. Can you believe that? It’s no wonder you are getting so incredibly angry at them – they’re actually responsible for you being the unutterable jerk-off artist that you are! It’s totally their fault so no one can blame you for being so obnoxiously enraged. “It’s your fault that I’m such a ridiculously retarded knobhead,” you roar. “It’s your fault that I’m the ridiculously retarded knobhead that I am and that’s why I’m going to beat the head off you!”






Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.